I'm good at .....

This week I had a tough time at Uni.

Monday started with me working in the studio until gone 6pm trying to finish my last of 5 sketchbooks. We were told they had to be done for the following day (and guess what? we didn't use them!) so of course I had to finish them. Eventually I had to leave the studio when my brain stopped working and I finished the sketchbook when I got there on Tuesday morning. My Lovely Boys and L sat me in the pub where I was surprisingly helpful in the pub quiz. Tuesday and Wednesday were OK. In fact Wednesday was great and I made more progress with my essay. And then I got to Thursday.

I bounded into the studio with enthusiasm for the day. We have our first assessment due in a couple of weeks and there has been a marked up-swing in the amount of work people are suddenly doing. (mainly due to the fact that a lot of them have been off with "flu" [hangovers] and are behind). I'm not being smug but I was pleased that my attendance has been constant because I knew that I'd have time to now tweak my sketchbook. So I had a chat with my tutor about the work I've produced. So far we're only looking at the line and colour work.

The first pages were great and they were really encouraging and then ... it was less happy. There seemed to be a few pages that weren't working and it was suggested that they should just be removed as they wouldn't help me. I mumbled consent and out they came. And some more. And a couple more. In fact, of one day's work, 1 page of the original 4 remains. Ouch!

I wasn't happy. I wasn't angry with my tutor - she was right - I was just deflated. I looked at my work and could see exactly what they were telling me. And then I slightly freaked out at the amount of work I have to re-do.

Last night I went out for dinner, hung out with my Lovely Boys and Bre and had a couple of glasses of wine. I had a lovely sleep and a little lie-in. (8.30 is a lie-in isn't it?) and then had a leisurely breakfast. Over my third coffee, I mused over the work I had to do and then it occurred to me.

So I lost pages from my sketchbook. So what? I can add more pages till I can't close the book if I so desire as long as it's of a good quality. My book has been streamlined. Now I can enhance it. I can add mini sketchbooks inside (I'm good at making them) and make something truly individual. So some of my colour and line work needs to be improved. There are aspects of the 7 weeks that I'm bloody fantastic at. My 3d work and sculptures always seem to draw compliments from my DT and that is my first love anyway. It's part of the area that interests me the most. Drawing is just part of a process it is not the finished thing.

And there are plenty of things I can do really well.

I can knit. I can cook fabulous suppers. I make yummy cakes (I'm sat enjoying one as we speak!) I'm creative. I can problem solve. I can train people. I can listen. I can find my way around a new place with a good sense of direction. I can chant. I can roll my tongue. I can hold a reasonable conversation in Polish and that's just the tip of the iceberg. The thing is, most of those things I learnt and I can learn this too.

So my weekend will be working but with a huge proportion of play. I just need to hide the glitter from Jemima.

x