When creativity becomes paralysing.

Typical. I'm quiet for weeks at a time and then I pop up with a self indulgent doozy.

Quick up-date.
Print and I will never be close friends but I'm learning to appreciate the "transferable skills" I can learn from it and am trying to do them well. Yes Hermione is alive and well. I've completely fallen in love with the dying process and know that this will stand me in good stead for the knitting bit.
I know that I'm definitely going to do knit. I looked at the 2nd year's work yesterday and now wish it was September already.
Whilst I have food, clothes and a roof (and therefore ahead of the game compared to most), I'm experiencing new levels of poverty. I was thinking of "Ready Steady Cook" the other day which I used to watch when I had TV. (Is it still alive?). People would rock up with a fiver's worth of food and get a meal (sometimes more if they were good). MY GOD for a fiver, I could cook a banquet!

So now you know where I'm up to. Trust me these are the edited high-lights. Today I've been hit with a new dilemma.

My VMC (art history) classes have finished for the year so I can now add Wednesday to Friday (and the weekend) as my "days of not getting dressed and doing stuff". Not to confused with my days of not getting dressed and watching DVDs and/or knitting. In all seriousness I do work on these days but chose to do it comfortable attire. These days start with a task list and I have timed portions in which to do each job. I'm not kidding. I can lose hours on the interweb so this is the best way of putting some discipline in my time. It works really well in the studio and I use it most days at home but try and have days off. It's all about balance. (My I3P will be so proud of me when I see her tomorrow!).

Today was a day off. Uni work is caught up and on course. Job hunting is in progress. The book I was reading was finished by 10am and I started a new one this afternoon. The day was moving along nicely.

And then I started day-dreaming.

Suddenly my head was filled with lots of things I want to do. Some of which will have to wait because of practical issues such as cost. Some are research things that are for one day in the future. (A range of hand dyed yarns inspired by the Shipping Forecast). Some are mad, crazy gifts to myself when I graduate. But there are a fair chunk of things I could be doing now. Getting feedback on a pattern design. Getting two more written and tested. Working on some socks and learning how that all works. Working out how to sell these things as proper designs. And yet, as these schemes bubbled to the surface of my brain, I was paralysed. Like a rabbit caught in headlights, I didn't know where to start or which way to go. Normally, I feel full of energy and run off all the different things to do on my task list and "ta-da" they're done. Sketchbook drawn in and painted. Kodatraces painted and layered. Fabric dyed. But this seems different. As I said I can't do some of the bits yet and they are nice things to look forward to, but the things that can be dealt with, right now, are both exciting and bewildering.

I know I need to do these things otherwise they will only ever be ideas and that's just not an option. I want to see these become real, but at the same time, I'm overwhelmed by the contents of my head and a little scared. I suppose this is the first step to putting myself and my creativity out there.

A hand to hold would be great.

x