Hotter Than

Knit Project

2010-08-01T09:25:00.002Z

I had an exciting post day yesterday. My 2nd year Knit project arrived. As I sipped my tea, I read the brief.

"A sense of time/a sense of place"

Either
A personal/emotional/interior environment e.g. your bed/a shelf/a room/a table/a wardrobe/your bedroom floor etc.

Or
A physical exterior environment e.g. a landscape/street corner/road/wood/plaza etc.

From different view points (e.g. out a window,through a crack of a door/above/below etc.) draw, photograph, collage and even build your observations of your environment in a broad range of media and techniques. Record changes e.g.

Night/day
Dawn/dusk
Atmosphere
Creased/folded
Bright/shadowed etc.

My head is full of ideas which is at the same time paralysing. I'm really interested in the notion of an internal landscape but don't want it to become an exercise in navel-gazing. I'd be able to use Anthony Gormley in some of my research. However I like the use of a road. The idea of the length but also the minutia. I'd be able to research the Boyle Family. I'd like to explore structure, form and architecture.

The first thing I need to do is some brain storming. Then I can get it straight in my head.

x

Stuff

2010-07-30T18:57:00.002Z

I know. It's been a while.

I don't have any decent excuses I'm afraid. Shall we just say life and leave it at that?

Ok a little expansion. Life has been interesting. I finished Uni and the sense of relief was overshadowed by one of fear as various other things decided now was the time for their voices to be heard. At which point I had to do some very hard and grown-up things. Never really my forte but there we are. The result of these grown-up things left me feeling tired and low. It was also not a fun thing to blog about. Unfortunately it was the *only* thing in my life which meant that blogging took a back seat.

As a person who finds it hard to discuss the more frightening contents of my head, (no really), I didn't mind losing various methods of communication. I didn't have to talk to anyone. Now I'm past the crap, I'm feeling more communicative.

I'm also thinking about this blog and what I want it to be. The direction I'd like to go in. This all feels a little like navel gazing.

Recently I've been trying to develope some good habits. Now may be the time to take them further and really make some changes.

I'll let you know.

Gandalf Goes to the World Cup

2010-06-26T09:03:00.000Z

When worlds collide.

x

Tom Lehrer - The Vatican Rag - now on DVD

2010-06-16T09:04:00.000Z

Not wanting to offend anyone but this is very funny.

Prints part 2

2010-06-02T11:18:00.002Z

These are the Prints I couldn't photograph last night due to poor light,

I'm happy enough with them but am so pleased it's nearly over.

x

My prints

2010-06-01T19:59:00.002Z

I thought you may want to see some of my pieces from my Print rotation.

There are 2 more but the light is crap so those will have to wait until tomorrow.

I'm reasonably happy with them. My tutors think they're unfinished but I'm too tired to do anymore. I'm just hoping they'll be enough for Thursday.

The end of the year review

2010-06-01T14:12:00.004Z

I can't believe that I'm so close to finishing my 1st year.

It's gone so fast and has been utterly amazing. A lot of hard work and some days have been exhausting.

I've learned some great techniques and have decided (as if it were ever in doubt) that I'm a knitter.

I've also met quite the most incredibly "speshul" people. The other week was a doozy. Whilst dying fabric in lime green dye, one girl asked what colour the fabric would go. When I responded with "purple" she looked surprised and asked with genuine intrigue "Really?!"

I've had a really tough rotation this time with Print. Such fun. However, I wouldn't change it. I've still learned stuff that I can use in my specialism and it's also been a useful exercise in clarifying what I want to do.

I've got my final crit on Thursday and as of Friday I'm officially on holiday. (Perfect timing as far as I'm concerned ;) ). I'm frantically job hunting but at the moment it's still quiet.

I'm utterly broke and right now I could sleep for about a week but I can't wait for it to be September so I can start the next chapter.

x

When creativity becomes paralysing.

2010-05-12T18:10:00.002Z

Typical. I'm quiet for weeks at a time and then I pop up with a self indulgent doozy.

Quick up-date.
Print and I will never be close friends but I'm learning to appreciate the "transferable skills" I can learn from it and am trying to do them well. Yes Hermione is alive and well. I've completely fallen in love with the dying process and know that this will stand me in good stead for the knitting bit.
I know that I'm definitely going to do knit. I looked at the 2nd year's work yesterday and now wish it was September already.
Whilst I have food, clothes and a roof (and therefore ahead of the game compared to most), I'm experiencing new levels of poverty. I was thinking of "Ready Steady Cook" the other day which I used to watch when I had TV. (Is it still alive?). People would rock up with a fiver's worth of food and get a meal (sometimes more if they were good). MY GOD for a fiver, I could cook a banquet!

So now you know where I'm up to. Trust me these are the edited high-lights. Today I've been hit with a new dilemma.

My VMC (art history) classes have finished for the year so I can now add Wednesday to Friday (and the weekend) as my "days of not getting dressed and doing stuff". Not to confused with my days of not getting dressed and watching DVDs and/or knitting. In all seriousness I do work on these days but chose to do it comfortable attire. These days start with a task list and I have timed portions in which to do each job. I'm not kidding. I can lose hours on the interweb so this is the best way of putting some discipline in my time. It works really well in the studio and I use it most days at home but try and have days off. It's all about balance. (My I3P will be so proud of me when I see her tomorrow!).

Today was a day off. Uni work is caught up and on course. Job hunting is in progress. The book I was reading was finished by 10am and I started a new one this afternoon. The day was moving along nicely.

And then I started day-dreaming.

Suddenly my head was filled with lots of things I want to do. Some of which will have to wait because of practical issues such as cost. Some are research things that are for one day in the future. (A range of hand dyed yarns inspired by the Shipping Forecast). Some are mad, crazy gifts to myself when I graduate. But there are a fair chunk of things I could be doing now. Getting feedback on a pattern design. Getting two more written and tested. Working on some socks and learning how that all works. Working out how to sell these things as proper designs. And yet, as these schemes bubbled to the surface of my brain, I was paralysed. Like a rabbit caught in headlights, I didn't know where to start or which way to go. Normally, I feel full of energy and run off all the different things to do on my task list and "ta-da" they're done. Sketchbook drawn in and painted. Kodatraces painted and layered. Fabric dyed. But this seems different. As I said I can't do some of the bits yet and they are nice things to look forward to, but the things that can be dealt with, right now, are both exciting and bewildering.

I know I need to do these things otherwise they will only ever be ideas and that's just not an option. I want to see these become real, but at the same time, I'm overwhelmed by the contents of my head and a little scared. I suppose this is the first step to putting myself and my creativity out there.

A hand to hold would be great.

x

Earworm

2010-04-14T09:14:00.002Z

To make up for the mediocre drawings, I thought I'd share with you my re-discovered earworm. It comes to something when you find yourself humming it to yourself in the pub. It's even worse when your friend recognises it and you spend the entire evening singing it together.

Beyond fun.

2010-04-14T08:40:00.004Z

Well that was a fun week.

There I was cracking through my work - knitting and paintings were coming on a treat. And then I came down with tonsillitis. Holy heck was I in pain. One morning I woke up at 2am in agony and I couldn't take any pain relief until 5am. Fun. So I spent alot of the end of last week and the weekend sleeping. However Monday, I felt brighter. I had an early start and went for High Maintenance coffee. Hmmmmm. After that I was invincible. I got Em's cardi finished and packaged up, did a whole load of other jobs and worked on some still lifes.

Number 3's done but I'm not happy with it so no image I'm afraid. I've also played with some oil pastels -

I'm not convinced by these either but am less shy at showing these. I know they're not as good as the paintings but drawing "proper" things with oil pastels is still a bit new to me so I accept that these are still a work in progress.

I've also had a realisation. I anticipate Print to be my weakest rotation so, as long as I pass, anything else is a bonus. And I can't fail as long as I turn up and do the work. So for this rotation I'm going to relax and have fun.

x

The results of 2/5ths painting.

2010-04-07T11:10:00.002Z

I've done 2 of the 5 paintings I need to complete before I start my Print rotation. I think I need to work on them a little more but I'll worry about that later.

For now I'm thinking about number 3.

x

Is it really Tuesday?

2010-04-06T20:08:00.002Z

I can't believe how time is just slipping by. Has it really been a week since I last posted?!

Despite setting out to achieve a list of jobs, I've made little headway. Last week I was despairing of myself for not waking up (yes I mean opening my eyes and being conscious) until 10am. Yes you read that right. In fact on one occasion it was 10.30. 9.30 on a non-school day I can live with, but this was starting to get silly. My lovely Rose was the voice of reason and had pointed out I'd been ill in the run up to my Easter break so I was a little more gentle on myself. I'd make myself a pot of coffee, turn on my computer, poke around on Rav and knit. Then I'd catch myself a couple of hours later thinking I should be doing something more important before realising that no, no I didn't. It's only in the last few days that I've really got the hang of this dossing around lark.

I've not been entirely idle, I've done some reading and alot of knitting. I've started some spinning projects and I've been doing some of the paintings I need to do for Print when I'm back at Uni. (Pictures to follow - I ran out of decent light today). I was also visited by Britswitch over the Easter weekend and we did some other bits and pieces. Mainly we sat in our jammies and planned world domination whilst knitting.

I guess I'm feeling that I should have got more done by now. I know, I know, I'm on holiday. There is no timetable but even so .....

Today was the day of 2/5ths.

I've got the second of 5 paintings finished and I've finished the left side of the front of the cardigan I'm knitting, leaving the second half and 2 sleeves to do. I.e. I've finished 2/5ths of that too. Maybe I'll get it done before the weekend. I'll let you know.

And there was me thinking I may be bored in these three weeks!

x

Catch up

2010-03-30T11:16:00.003Z

It has been pointed out to me that it's been a while since I was last here.

Bad blogger.

Uni has caught up with me and a couple of life events took their toll. I have learnt from experience that I have to take care of myself. So I have done. Unfortunately that means my priorities alter and to be honest, whilst this is a pleasant out-let, it's not the thing that drives me in the same way as, for example, my degree, my art and yarn.

However, I now have 3 glorious weeks off and am hoping to catch up with things that have slipped.

So what have I been up to? Well. I've just finished my Surface rotation which was highly enjoyable. I had thought that this may be a specialism. I know it's going to be a choice between that and knit. My tutors keep saying "Knit" but I was prepared to be more open minded. Note the past tense. I really enjoyed the project and learnt some fab new techniques - especially the embellisher. OMG, it's like oil painting with yarn, but I digress. During this rotation, I talked to my tutor about future employment and crossover in disciplines and it comes down to this. The employment opportunities are better for knit. Plus I can use alot of Surface techniques within knit. So that's almost that decision made.

I also had a presentation for VMC (art history and context). It was group work and alot challenging. When you work with a group it's inevitable that your grade is reliant on others. This is fine for those members who just turn up, but for my inner Hermione it was an exercise in pragmatism. In the end I just wanted to pass. Yes that's right. No over-achieving for me. So imagine my joy when I got my grade - 70% WOOT.

Oh and did I tell you I got my knit grade? Bearing in mind it was my first "proper" rotation and I had some "stuff" that went on over Christmas and New Year that meant I lost a little focus. Anyway I got - 62% and 65%. I was very pleased and I think there was only one other person that got a better grade which means I can only do better and I have someone to chase.

I'm finally feeling human after an end of rotation infection, (stress makes me feel run down and a willing incubator), and I've caught up on my sleep. Now I'm facing 3 weeks of pottering. I've got some Uni stuff to do - a 2,000 word essay and some paintings - but aside from that I've got free time.

It feels very odd. I'm sat knitting and keep thinking I should be doing something else more important. I'm sure by the end of 3 weeks I'll get better.

x

A funny song about rubbish

2010-03-29T22:23:00.001Z

Look what I made!

2010-02-27T10:14:00.002Z

So the first of my "8 Shawls" project is done.

This is Imbolc and I'm so excited by it. Now I need to get the pattern sorted and tested so it makes sense to other people so that I can sell it.

Now I'm starting work on Ostara. I'll post pictures when I have something to show you.

Fun with knitting.

2010-02-01T19:15:00.005Z

I thought I'd post some pictures of the knitting I've been up to seeing as my assessment is due Thursday (so I'll be "hungover" Friday. I won't be but you know what I mean).

The first is a bought jumper that I pulled down and payed with. This was adding a hot water bottle to the bottom of a a jumper.

These are more serious designs with the intention of being proper clothing.

Nearly done

New Year, New Challenge

2010-01-23T09:58:00.002Z

Last year you may recall I took part in the 365 project - aka A Photo a Day.

As I posted my last photo on New Year's Eve, I felt a sense of loss. As well as being delighted that I'd completed it, I already missed it.

The following day I was sat on the sofa knitting with Brits and we got to talking about patterns and designing. I mentioned that I'd played with some ideas and had thought about a designing challenge but never really had confidence in my own ability. Looking at other people's patterns, they looked amazing, delicate, magical almost. I wasn't sure I could achieve that.

However, Brits had her no-nonsense head on and gradually "8" was born.

Basically there are 8 Sabbats throughout the year approximately every 6 weeks. So the challenge is to design a pattern that encompasses that festival, select the yarn and then knit it up.

So the first festival is Imbolc. The first Spring festival. Snowdrops and crocuses are pushing up through the snow. The glimmer of new life signalling the coming of warmer days. I sat in my favourite restaurant a few days later and set about playing with oil pastels to come up with a colour way.

and then I had to think about the pattern. I liked the idea of snowflakes and flowers so set about designing some ideas incorporating those themes.

Meanwhile, I ha to find some yarn. I knew that finding something that would be "perfect" (ie what I'd imagined) was damn near impossible so I approached Laura who owns Abstract Cat. (Remember all my lovely porn?). I asked her if she'd be interested in a commission and she immediately said "Yes". I emailed the colourway over but gave her free rein in terms of application and technique. It proved to be trickier than either of us first imagined, but Goddess love her, she finally got the dye to hold and the wool not to felt on the 4th attempt. This was the result.

When I opened that email the other Sunday, I squeed with excitement and almost cried at how utterly perfect it is. Now all I had to do was formalise the pattern. Eventually I got it to fit together. I actually loved that part of the process. It's a combination of a jig-saw puzzle, maths and something almost alchemical. I tried It out on regular yarn so I could quickly see if I it would work. And it did!

So now I'm knitting this shawl. I'm hoping to have it done by the end of next weekend but I think that realistically, it may take a little longer.

So I'm almost 1 down 7 to go. I'll post pictures of it when it's done and then I get to go through the whole thing again.

I may have to have these

2010-01-23T09:54:00.003Z

Clear plastic shoes so that your socks can be seen. This is so cool.

The Best Laid Plans

2010-01-10T13:49:00.003Z

It seems like forever since I was last here.

A quick catch-up may be in order.

We had a vast amount of snow here that the Highway Agency seemed little prepared for.

I managed to get home for Christmas - who knew a person could love Chiltern Railways and NXEA?

I had a lovely couple of days catching up with Em who I've not seen since we finished college last June

I had the most fabulous Christmas ever with Rose and Boy. It was even better than the last Christmas I spent at Palais de Roses (which had been my favourite ever Christmas). We ate fabulous food, drank gorgeous wine and I spent time with some of the people I care most about and think of as family. We caught up, laughed an awful lot (sometimes at each other) and look fabulous in our jammies. I give thanks to the Universe that I'm so blessed.

Then I spent a couple of days with Mummy G who I've not seen in ages. I realised that one of my "resolutions" is to try and get home more often and spend time with these fabulous folks.

Eventually I went back to base and prepared for Britswitch's visit. She came and spent New Year with me which was an incredibly sedate affair. Alot of the time was spent knitting and plotting world domination.

So that was about 2 weeks of running around the country and enjoying the much soothing company of friends. But that was all part of the plan. I have 3 weeks off from Uni - 2 weeks of relaxing and then 1 week of Uni work.

And then I got sick. I have a pile of knitting that I was going to do for my project before going back tomorrow. Nothing too taxing and perfectly achievable within 7 days. Monday I started. Except I fell in love with the pattern I was supposed to "butcher" so had to have a re-think. Tuesday I started with pattern No. 2. All was fine and I made progress. I went out in the evening and had a lovely time. When I got home, I was a bit cough-y but put it down to the change in air temperature. I was wrong. Wednesday and Thursday I spent curled up feeling dreadful. I was too tired to even knit! Friday I felt brighter and caught up with some urgent jobs and a bit of knitting. At this point mild concern had set in. I knew I wouldn't be able to achieve all jobs for Uni so I had to start prioritising. Fine. All ok. Then I went to bed last night and lay awake until about 4am. And 2 hours sleep has left me feeling drained. Not industrial strength rocket fuel is helping. My cold has travelled upwards and left my head feeling fuzzy and spacey. B tells me I can't help being sick and my course mates will not have done anything over the holidays and yet .... *sigh*

I keep thinking that I should have done some work sooner but I'm too tired for rational thought. I'm going back to bed. At least if I feel like this tomorrow, I'm staying at home.

x

Porn

2009-12-21T21:53:00.002Z

ok so I'm f***ing amazing. To celebrate that fact, I went home on Wednesday and bought myself some very pretty yarn. This may seem very decedent but I don't buy amazing new clothes. I don't do drugs and I barely go out with the boys any more. So I went to Abstract Cat which I'd discovered a couple of days previously and I fell. Boy did I fall.

"Undergrowth"

"Murky Deep"

"Vampyre"

"Tempestuous"

"Dark Cherry"

In my defence! I didn't buy this all in one go. I bought 3 on Wednesday.

Then I was checking my shopping details on Friday. I needed to know the length of Vampyre (image 3) so I could work out it if I could knit socks with it. Anyway, I was looking at it and then my eyes caught sight of other stuff (actually image 4 and then 2). Well I couldn't buy 2 sock yarns and no lace weight so I had to buy a sixth (and not added) yarn called Cairngorms. These mountains have a special place in my heart from when I lived in Inverness. (Britswitch knows the effect they had on me). So suddenly I had 6 yarns!!!! Thank the Goddess for Christmas money.

They arrived today so my Yule knitting for ME is sorted. And I'll have very sexy feet. The last four photos are sock yarn and the first image is a lace weight and I'll make a pretty shawl with it. AND I scared my postman when I realised he had packages for me - I knew what they would be.

I'm f***ing amazing

2009-12-21T21:50:00.002Z

I got my grade back for my first Art History essay

73%

That's a first.

My tutor loves me. I've celebrated (alot).

An excellent end to a first term.

A word of advice

2009-12-10T17:27:00.002Z

I thought I ought to pass on a life lesson I learnt today.

When knitting a cardigan (especially as a gift) DO NOT forget to make the buttonhole.

I wish I'd remembered this before I sewed it up.

x

What I've been knitting

2009-12-04T10:20:00.002Z

My knitting has progressed - fortunately otherwise I'd be a rubbish student.

Last week I talked with my tutors about my lack of mood board so over the weekend I played with some of my images on photoshop. I've found this a really good way of breaking the colours down and find the subtle colours within a subject. This is one of the images I generated.

I was discussing this with DT on Tuesday and she was really pleased with the shades and the reasoning behind my choices. I then went and bought some material which I made into ribbons and knitted. I find this a really useful technique to allow different textures and colours play with and against each other.

At the same time DT and I discussed the idea of knitting codes into my piece. She was keen on me knitting a phrase into a a sample and then giving it to my other tutor, Fee, to decipher. I really liked this as a concept but realised that the code would have to be really simple so that I wouldn't have lots of different stitches and end up with a confused looking item. Yesterday, it occurred to me that Morse Code would be ideal for what I needed. Effectively I'd only need three stitches - 1 for the dots, 1 for the dashes and one for the spaces/background.

I found a copy of Morse Code on the interweb and set about designing my phrase. First I knitted it with two different colours but I didn't like it so much. It may have been the colours I used but I felt that it looked too busy.

Then I remembered the conversation with Fee, who reminded me that the piece had to be desirable. Ultimately I want someone to look at it and say "I want to own that" and I couldn't honestly say I felt that way about my coloured piece. So I had a rethink and realised it may work if I made the dots and dashes more literal. So the dots became holes, dashes became purl and the spaces and background became knit stitch and the whole thing became a lace pattern.

I'm really happy with this. It's not obviously Morse Code and I don't think it can be read as such but I think I may be on to something with this.

How I out Hermione'd Hermione.

2009-11-27T09:39:00.003Z

Yesterday I had a fabby day at Uni.

It started in a mild panic. I'd got into the studio at 8.30 only to have to turn around and run home because I'd forgotten my photographs that I needed for my project review later in the day. Stupidly they were still in my printer tray, inches away from where I'd picked up something else that morning. Amazingly my eyes must have slipped past them. Anyway, I picked them up and ran back to Uni in time to make it to my 9.15 appointment I have on a Thursday. An hour and a bit later I went back to the studio to find out which review group I was in and what time we were meeting. Oh joy! It wasn't until 1.30 so I had so time to get me stuff together.

So at 1.30, 5 of my course mates and I sat down around the table and did our show-and-tell.
The first girl went up and hadn't produced a mood board which was a requirement for the meeting. Fee told her in no uncertain terms that if she was a designer, she'd be sacked. That simple. I immediately planned. I hadn't got a mood board either but there was a good reason.

They went round the rest of the group and then it was my turn. Why is it I always seem to be last? School sports teams have left their mark. So, I sat there and faced Fee.
"OK I don't have a mood board because when I started to research this, it seemed to head in lots of directions and I didn't want to overcrowd it so I wanted to ask for some guidance".

"That's a mature answer" responded Fee and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I started by telling them my quote and then how I brain stormed. "It immediately fired ideas of breaking rules and anarchy. I felt that traffic signs represented this really well so I started by taking photos of signs". Showed the photos."Then I noticed some graffiti which of course is breaking the rules but also a way of writing" more photos and photocopied images. "I really like the line quality of this particular graffiti piece" nods of approval and a small discussion on types of graffit. "At the same time I was considering writing and wanted to explore types of writing - alphabets, runes, pictograms, that kind of thing, so I went off to the British Museum yesterday and had a look at the Asia and Islamic section". More nods and smiles from tutors. "I really like this image you've photocopied from a book" said DT, holding up a a large, single word in Arabic. "Yeah I did too. In fact that made me think of fractals so I've been looking at those too which fits nicely with the quote because fractals occur at the point where order and chaos meet". At this point I'm trying to ignore the whispers that were travelling around the table. Fee and DT both understood my mood board dilemma but the DT told me that the amount of work I generated meant that I could produce 3 - 1 for each aspect. "Oh! Can I do that?" Apparently this is a rule you're allowed to break!.

But wait because I've saved the best till last. We talked about fractals and patterns and I mentioned that I was intrigued at what would happen if you broke up a pattern. "I'm knitting this lace scarf for a friend for Yule, so I copied the pattern, cut up the individual lines and then pulled them at random and knitted them.". Fee takes my research book where my piece of knitting has been attached and starts to examine it. "So where did this come from?" she enquired. "The pattern. These are the rows and then I recorded the order in which I knitted them". Fee looked at me with a look mixed with shock, awe, disbelief and excitement. "So did you knit this?" she enquired. "Yeah" I replied matter of factly. At this point the whispering started again. "That's kind of as far as I got". We then spent a good 5 - 10 minutes talking about chaos and the ideas I'd generated.

The group broke up with ideas of how to develope our individual projects. And I went for a smoke. It's Thursday, I'm allowed. One of the others came out and joined me. "Oh my God how much work have you done?!" at this point I felt uncomfortable. I work hard but really don't like to draw attention to it. It's just how I work. It's not special or weird. It just is. "I just researched my quote. We've had 3 days so it's a reasonable amount of work for that length of time. Plus I don't have TV so I need to do something of an evening". Kel looked at me with some understanding and less fear. "Plus you can knit. Fee loved that. She thinks you're great". Again with the discomfort. "erm .... I'm not sure that's true but cheers". Then Fee came out and joined us. She was really excited about that fact that I knit and we talked some more about disrupting patterns.

I went home last night on a little cloud of happiness. I'm so glad that knitting was my first rotation.

x

Irony

2009-11-23T11:44:00.002Z

Today I went back to Uni after a week off for "reading". (Or in my case cracking through the Yule knitting). Last night I received an email from my course tutor, telling me that I (and the rest of my group) will be starting our knit rotation. Can you imagine how distressed I was at the news? 7 weeks of knitting. Bugger.

This morning we met our tutor - Fee - and received our brief. Each of us picked a quote of of a "hat" (actually it was a plastic wallet but the principle's the same) and this will form the basis of our project. So what was my quote?

"If they give you ruled paper, write the other way!"

So can you see why this made me smile? It's about breaking rules. ME?! Fee gave some starting points for everyone specific to their quote and she immediately said "So you can think about breaking rules, anarchy and not conforming". I couldn't help but grin at the irony and yet my mind is brimming with ideas.

What happens if I cut up lines of a knitting pattern and re-arrange them and then knit?
I can explore writing and types - pictographs, runes, alphabets etc.
Taking different types of rules and playing with them - The Highway Code, The Ten Commandments, Health & Safety.
I could maybe do something with paper

At the moment I'm still at the research stage and I have until Thursday to generate as any ideas as I can. I also need to consider colour, structure and form.

If the quote makes you think of anything then feel free to share. There are no wrong answers.

Kseniya Simonova - Sand Animation (Україна має талант / Ukraine's Got Talent)

2009-11-04T10:34:00.001Z

This is amazing.

Yarn, glorious yarn.

2009-11-01T11:11:00.002Z

Yesterday I had the best day I've had in ages with the lovely Britswitch, It being Samhain and all, we planned to get together, give thanks for the past year and remember those who have gone before. It was beautiful to spend time with my friend and I always enjoy ritual with her - we just seem to understand what the other is thinking which makes for excellent work.

However, we had a few things to achieve before then. First I wanted to go to I Knit. I thought it would be best to go and play with wool, feel inspired and wind down after a quite hectic and intense week, especially before we moved into the main event later that evening. But mainly I wanted to go because I've been almost obsessed with it since I saw the profile for it in Stitch and Bitch London

I've been really good lately and have saved up some pennies. I also wanted to buy some pretty sock yarn for gifts for friends. (and no they won't be receiving socks!). We arrived (with a slight squee from me when I caught sight of the shop) and entered what is truly a knitting haven. Brits was very patient and let me scamper around like a small child in sweet shop, gasping over the gorgeous colourways and trying to decide which ones would suit which friends. Eventually I decided -

And then because I'd been so good I bought a little something for myself. I have no idea what I'll do with it but then that's the beauty of stash.

The lady who runs I Knit was really friendly and very helpful. As I went to the counter explaining that I need to buy these for gifts and I'd like these but I'm a poor student and not sure that my funds will stretch .... she gamely picked them all up and said "Well we can try and if not we'll just have to put some back and try again". I looked slightly astonished, embarrassed and relieved all at once. Catching my mixed expression, she assured me that she completely understood and had once "spent her gas and electric money at the wool expo at Ally Pally a few years ago". Suddenly I realised I'd found a friend.

But I Knit is more than a shop. (or opium den - take your pick). It's a haven, a sanctuary. It's a fully licenced bar with tables and chairs and a comfy sofa for you to sit and knit in peace. When the Goddess gives you such a gift, it's rude to ignore it.

Armed with a pair of DPNs (Double pointed needles. See I was determined to buy some wool!), I sat myself down, unfurled a skein and started to cast on some socks. But wait. The lady came over to me and said "It'd be easier if you wound that into a ball. We have a skeiner if you'd like to use it". I looked at the contraption that Heath Robinson would be proud of with some fear and said "Oh it's ok. To be honest I've never used one before and it looks a bit daunting". "Oh it's easy" she said "Come on" and with she had me by the hand and led me over to an expandable wooden drum. She slipped my skein over it, threaded the end onto a rotating bobbin and told me to turn the handle. And this is the result.

This wool will be made into socks for a friend. I sat in a state of complete and utter bliss. It was just the tonic I needed after such a challenging week. Knitters really are the nicest people.

We had a wonderful evening honouring and feast, singing and laughing.

I looked at my stash this morning and realised how appropriate it was that I bought wool yesterday. Samhain is a fire festival, an element associated with the spark of inspiration and creativity which is certainly true of knitting. However it is more than that. For me, as I knit, I remember my wonderful Grandmothers who taught me (with patience) that I can create something beautiful with two sticks and some string. I remember the thrill of learning to purl and realising that now my knitting was limitless. With just two stitches I could create all manner of textures, surfaces and patterns. As I knit I remember, honour and carry their spirits with me.

I wish all of you peace and happiness for the coming year. I hope that you find your own creative spark and that it brings you joy.

I'm good at .....

2009-10-30T14:26:00.002Z

This week I had a tough time at Uni.

Monday started with me working in the studio until gone 6pm trying to finish my last of 5 sketchbooks. We were told they had to be done for the following day (and guess what? we didn't use them!) so of course I had to finish them. Eventually I had to leave the studio when my brain stopped working and I finished the sketchbook when I got there on Tuesday morning. My Lovely Boys and L sat me in the pub where I was surprisingly helpful in the pub quiz. Tuesday and Wednesday were OK. In fact Wednesday was great and I made more progress with my essay. And then I got to Thursday.

I bounded into the studio with enthusiasm for the day. We have our first assessment due in a couple of weeks and there has been a marked up-swing in the amount of work people are suddenly doing. (mainly due to the fact that a lot of them have been off with "flu" [hangovers] and are behind). I'm not being smug but I was pleased that my attendance has been constant because I knew that I'd have time to now tweak my sketchbook. So I had a chat with my tutor about the work I've produced. So far we're only looking at the line and colour work.

The first pages were great and they were really encouraging and then ... it was less happy. There seemed to be a few pages that weren't working and it was suggested that they should just be removed as they wouldn't help me. I mumbled consent and out they came. And some more. And a couple more. In fact, of one day's work, 1 page of the original 4 remains. Ouch!

I wasn't happy. I wasn't angry with my tutor - she was right - I was just deflated. I looked at my work and could see exactly what they were telling me. And then I slightly freaked out at the amount of work I have to re-do.

Last night I went out for dinner, hung out with my Lovely Boys and Bre and had a couple of glasses of wine. I had a lovely sleep and a little lie-in. (8.30 is a lie-in isn't it?) and then had a leisurely breakfast. Over my third coffee, I mused over the work I had to do and then it occurred to me.

So I lost pages from my sketchbook. So what? I can add more pages till I can't close the book if I so desire as long as it's of a good quality. My book has been streamlined. Now I can enhance it. I can add mini sketchbooks inside (I'm good at making them) and make something truly individual. So some of my colour and line work needs to be improved. There are aspects of the 7 weeks that I'm bloody fantastic at. My 3d work and sculptures always seem to draw compliments from my DT and that is my first love anyway. It's part of the area that interests me the most. Drawing is just part of a process it is not the finished thing.

And there are plenty of things I can do really well.

I can knit. I can cook fabulous suppers. I make yummy cakes (I'm sat enjoying one as we speak!) I'm creative. I can problem solve. I can train people. I can listen. I can find my way around a new place with a good sense of direction. I can chant. I can roll my tongue. I can hold a reasonable conversation in Polish and that's just the tip of the iceberg. The thing is, most of those things I learnt and I can learn this too.

So my weekend will be working but with a huge proportion of play. I just need to hide the glitter from Jemima.

x

A Night With Albert

2009-10-24T23:44:00.002Z

This evening we had a house outing to the Albert Hall to watch a performance o Carmina Burana. Of course this meant a fantastic photo opportunity for me!

We had a fantastic evening and the music was awe inspiring. As we walked back in a post gig haze, I spotted more things that I wanted to capture. The light and the structure of these buildings were as inspiring as the music.

Meme o meme

2009-10-13T19:52:00.003Z

Better late than never. Roses set me this challenge and then I got caught up with Uni. Here goes -

1) My mother once: told me I had pretty eyes.

2) Never in my life: have I felt so free.

3) When I was five: I loved stopping at my Granny's without my sister

4) High school was/is: the reason counselling is necessary.

5) I will never forget: How loved I am.

6) I once met: The ideal man.

7) There's this person I know who: is a bad influence on me. Actually there are several.

8) Once, at a bar: My friend and I had the best night ever as we put a sizable dent in the bottle of Disaronno behind the bar and learned that the other person was actually really cool.

9) By noon I'm usually: in the studio.

10) Last night I: Enjoyed a film and some quality knitting with my housemate.

11) If only I had: belief.

12) Next time I go to church/temple: I'll try not to draw the windows.

13) Terri Schiavo: is who exactly?

14) I like: knitting, photography, my bed, quirky men, quantum mechanics.

15) When I turn my head left, I see ; my bed, rug box and a vase full of knitting needles.

16) When I turn my head right, I see: a pile of washing and my kite.

17) You know I'm lying when: my voice goes up an octave. Apparently.

18) In junior school: I was very quiet.

19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare: I'd be an extra.

20) By this time next year I: I'll be older. Anything else is a bonus.

21) A better name for me would be: Sarcastic.

22) I have a hard time understanding: Scousers.

23) If I ever go back to school: I'd be at Uni

24) You know I like you if: I'm sarcastic.

25) If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: Mummy G.

26) I hope that: I can one day relax.

27) Take my advice: find your own way.

28) My ideal breakfast is: pancakes.

29) A song I love but do not have is: "This Kiss".

30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you bring a good book.

31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips and track stars: I love soft pink ones the best, are human, not as good as chunky chips, look better in a tracksuit than I do.

32) Why won't anyone: Realise I'm right?

33) If you spend the night at my house: I'll cook if you supply the wine.

34) I'd stop my wedding: Yes.

35) The world could do without: Torture.

36) I'd rather lick the belly of a roach than: go ten-pin bowling.

37) My favourite thing is: my capacity for favourite things.

38) Paper clips are more useful than: The majority of ex-boyfriends.

39) And by the way: I prefered "Under the Bridge".

40) The last time I was (really) drunk: Was the night before I went to Darlington. It numbed the pain of 2 platform changes.

41) My grandmother always: told us we should always use the loo when you see one. You never know when you'll see the next. A wise woman.

Anyone who wants to have a go at doing this is more than welcome. But let me know so I can have a snout.

x

Moments of hilarity

2009-10-13T18:31:00.002Z

I don't mean to be superior but sometimes people around me make it so easy.

I realise that as a "mature" student, I have had a different life experience to that of a lot of my coursemates. Hell I've got life experience. Full stop. Therefore I have to be a bit forgiving when I overhear conversations wistfully remembering Mum's cooking. However there have been moments over the last few weeks when I sat there in astonishment.

Moment 1

Girl 1 - "Did you get your lecture timetable emailed to you yesterday?"

Girl 2 - "Yeah. I've got a lecture 1 til 3 on Wednesday"

Girl 1 - "I know I'm in the same group. Can you believe we have a two hour lecture?!"

Girl 2 - "I know! I'll never be able to stay awake for 2 hours"

God knows how these girls got through school only a few years ago. Whilst they were moaning at the length of the lecture, my inner Hermione was still coming to terms that she only had ONE lecture a week. (I've consoled her with the promise of library time between a half hour seminar and the lecture).

Moment 2. (aka "When I felt old")

I'm sat in the studio singing "Sticking With You" to myself.

Am (the girl that sits to my left in the studio) - "Are you singing about glue?!"

Me - "Yeah it's a Velvet Underground song called "Sticking with you" and it has a line about glue in it" - proceed to sing the relevant line.

Am - "Velvet what?"

Me - "Velvet Underground. You know Lou Reed?"

Am - Looks slightly blank and then ... comprehension ... "Lou Reed? She was in that girl band wasn't she?"

Er ... no.

x

Week 2 at big school

2009-10-03T08:20:00.005Z

My second week at big school is over and I'm still as high as a kite. I'll warn you - this means I'm in self-congratulatory mode. You have been warned.

As you may recall we are working on "Objects of Desire". These are little sculptures of things we find desirable - based on either actual objects or a more emotional response. I went with the latter. I made all sorts of little things which I may well post at some point but I wanted to show you this week's journey.

This was the starting point. Yep we're back with spirals. I couldn't help it. I cut the metal into strips, it twisted and my heart flip-flopped. Anyway, on Tuesday we had to draw our objects. We were only allowed to use graphite stick, pen and pencil dipped in ink. Drawing fills my soul with a certain dread. Mainly due to previous tutors. (One of which told me not to include any of my drawing when applying for Uni because "it's just not good enough" and almost cost me the interview!). So, it was with some trepidation that I approached the class. It sounds stupid seeing as alot of my work will be based on initial sketches and it is something I work on, however, I accept it as a process. It spawns ideas and therefore doesn't have to be perfect.

I finished Tuesday feeling quite good about what I'd achieved but aware that my day "off" (Wednesday) would see me sat in my jammies, working on my drawing. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't treating this as the torture I've previously been exposed to, I was just aware I had some work to do.

Then I went to Uni on Thursday. I was in the studio a little early and caught up with my drawing tutor (DT). Figuring I may as well crack on with the day, I asked if we were continuing with Tuesday's work. DT confirmed that we would be having another semi-prescribed day, ie, she'd give us guidance in what we were expected to produce. And then she said something that made me beam. "I mean people like you and the girl sat next to you are just fine. You obviously know what's expected and are fine to just fly. I'm talking about people who need a bit more guidance, support and a bit of confidence building.". OMG! She thinks I'm good. We discussed the research aspect and I showed her where I was heading. She was more than happy with what I was doing and exclaimed "You've got it!". Needless to say, Hermione got Thursday off and Jemima (my inner 5 year-old) came out to play. And yes, I am medicated.

DT gathered us all together at 9.45 and gave us the day's programme. We were told to use the lines that we'd worked with on Tuesday and to be aware of the qualities of those, but to incorporate stitch, fold, scalpels, cut lines and the photocopies of Tuesday's work. Now if you say to me "cut lines and stitch" this is what I want to do.

I had a fantastic day and felt I'd really achieved alot. However, if I was already bouncing with joy, DT's end of day comments pushed me to new highs. We had to look at the other desks within our group and pick our favourite. As a year group, there is a general sense of apathy and it was seen more as an opportunity to stretch our legs and chat. DT gave us 10 mins before coming over to see which stations we'd selected. She started with my neighbour's desk and asked if anyone had selected it. No-one came forward and DT was astonished. "I'd be really amazed if no-one has" she exclaimed "this is clearly a girl who loves to draw and has a really good sense of negative space. She understands what is required and really enjoys it.". Then she moved to my desk. "So did anyone pick this desk?". Again no response. "Come on someone must of. As with the other desk, this girl is great. It's interesting that her structures are really delicate and yet she uses really bold lines in her drawing. She's not afraid to put different lines together and stretches the media. I love what she's done with the construction pieces and I love that she's done things that I've not asked for. She really pushes those boundaries and has explored her subject thoroughly.".

Did you hear that?! That's ME she's talking about. DT actually said that she's excited about my work. The final concerns about my drawing ability evaporated and I floated all the way home.

Seriously.How hard can it be?

2009-09-23T13:52:00.002Z

This post is a bit indulgent really but is to explain something on my Facebook profile. I need a bit more space and you know I tend to run with an idea. This is less of a run, more a flat-out sprint out of the reach of the crazy catchers. However I know you will understand and maybe even help me.

Monday was my first day at Uni. We had all the usual orientation blah blah. "This is how to use the Library" "This is what do in the case of a fire" "This is another piece of paper for you to fill in your details" etc. I'm sat in the lecture theatre in the afternoon struggling with the tedium and wanting to get on with being a semi-reformed over-achieving student, when we had our last lecture from the reps from the student union. They were telling us all about Freshers week and the Fayre and this and the that and I'm sat letting it all wash over me. Don't get me wrong, I will have a fulfilling, rounded student experience, but I just don't want to go hell for leather into my first week. My partying hard days are far from over, but I'm more judicious about the company. I know this sounds bad. Sue me. Anyway, they talked about societies and clubs and the fact that if you can't find something you want to join, the union will support you in setting up a group. You need to find 9 other people that want to do the thing you want and you can apply for up to £1000 from the SU fund to help set it up.

The lecture was over and we were free to go, so I headed over to my local where I was meeting my friends to celebrate Day 1. The usual suspects were there and they were asking me about my day. I mentioned the society thing and Daz commented that I'd get hooked into a cult involving Ninja Origami practitioners. I assured him this wouldn't happen but then told him I could set up a knitting group. I love my boys but they don't get the knitting. And they don't believe anyone (other than me) would willingly knit for fun. What can I say? Sometimes they are soooo silly!. However when I mentioned the money, Daz became more interested. Mr B wondered how much yarn could be bought for £1000 and I assured both of them that it would be a significant amount. As is often the case the conversation rapidly descended into random, nonsense taller suggestions involving baristas dressed in knitted attire. When I went to buy a round I was struck with an moment of astonishing inspiration.

I was so excited, I could barely carry the pints straight. I set them down and turned to the boys. Mr B caught the manic look in my eye and went pale. "You know what I could do?" I suggested with the badly contained excitement normally seen in someone who starts sentences with "What do you think would happen if ..." and ends in a Darwin award nomination. Daz and Mr B looked at each other and, if possible, went paler. "Y...e....s....?" said Mr B.

"I could persuade the University to buy a couple of sheep and then we could have wool forever!"

It's like the adage of buy a man a fish .... My boys were scared. I'm wondering where we could put the Uni's new livestock.

x

What I've been doing at Big School.

2009-09-22T19:36:00.002Z

For anyone who didn't know, I started Uni yesterday.

Things have been a bit hectic over the last week and I can't imagine that they'll settle down for a wee while yet. However, I wanted to share my first couple of days.

This is my "home" for the next year. Suffice to say it doesn't look like this anymore! It has stuff all over it already and I'll be adding to it over the next few months. If' you promise to be good, I may even share the pictures with you.

We also got our first brief too. Yesterday we had no work and to be honest it was a little dull - we all just wanted to get cracking. However, today we had our first lecture! (My inner Hermione danced a little bit). Our brief is "Heart's Desire" and does what it says on the tin. We have to collect found objects and inexpensive bits and make models of things that represent what we love. They can be based on actual objects - iPods, cameras, phones, cars etc - or they can be more abstract. Guess where I'm taking this?! So below is a shot of something I worked on this evening. It's a work in progress and I've got others I want to make but I thought you may want to see.

Duvet!

2009-09-15T08:34:00.002Z

The trauma has subsided and now I can share the experience. I'll even let you laugh.

Last Thursday was my last night in Damp Darlington. Some of my colleagues and I went out for tapas - hmmmmm - and a generally good night was had by all. I will not deny I had a couple of glasses of wine but it was only a couple. I had to do a full day's work the next day and I knew I'd be D-mob happy so didn't want to handicap myself further. I also had a 3 and a bit hour train journey to negotiate - including a section through London. With a significant amount of luggage this was not for the faint hearted so again I wanted to be as sparky as possible. Therefore I repeat - I did not have a lot to drink Why am I strenuously making this point? Because if I were inebriated then what follows may have been less ... shameful.

OK. Here we go.

So, we had a nice meal. I got home at a sensible time and thought I really ought to post my photo for the day. That done, I checked some last bits and pieces on the interweb and finished the last of my packing. Suitably wound down and nicely tired, I decided it was time for bed. I wanted to be sparky the next day. I had a lot to do. It was going to be a long day. I needed my beauty sleep.

As I pulled off my evening's attire, I realised that of course, I needed to use the bathroom. Why does that happen? You can be sat quite happily but the minute you stand up and move around, your bladder kicks in? I wandered to the bathroom in all my glorious naturalness. I had the flat to myself and the front door was locked. I wasn't about to scare anyone. Having made myself comfortable, I went back to my room. I pushed against the door and nothing. By nothing I mean it wouldn't open. Bollocks. All individual rooms have Yale locks on the door. The first thing I do when I get into my room is put the lock on the snick. It's habit. I don't want to be locked out. Except on Thursday night when I can only blame my head being distracted by my impending move, Uni, homework, last minute jobs blah blah blah and I was locked out.

Ok this is fine. I just need to ring security and get them to let me in. Except my phone was locked in my room. With my clothes. Bollocks. As already mentioned, I was alone in the flat so had no-one to help me. Bollocks. So picture the scene. Me, locked out of my room and naked. And then salvation caught my eye. Well actually it was fresh laundry that the domestics had left out for me so could change my sheets. For the sake of a couple of nights, I left the bed as it was which meant that I had spare laundry on the same side of the door as me. Coverage! The towels are useless. The minute you deviate from a bolt upright stance, the world becomes your gynaecologist. Not an option. However there was a duvet cover. A wide piece of material that would wrap around my body a couple of times and stop somewhere below the knees. (Remember where you heard about this first girls - next year in Milan you can tell your fellow fashionistas who started the "toga" look).

So now I'm covered. Kinda. I still need to contact security but at least I can leave my front door with some degree of pride. (Not alot I grant you but given the situation, anything was an improvement). I went across the corridor, took a deep breath and knocked on my heighbour's front door. Nothing. No answer. At 11.30 at night you'd have thought someone would be about but apparently not. I wasn't thrilled about waking my neighbours but this was an emergency and had the roles been reversed I'd have rung security for the poor unfortunate and then poured them a drink. However I was not to be so blessed. I went down a flight of stairs and tried 2 more flats. Still nothing. In fact this was true for all 5 flats in my building. No one wanted to help a damsel in distress. And the awful truth slowly dawned on me. I was going to have to go over to the hospital and find a phone. So, having checked the security of my duvet, I strode across the car park. I say "strode" in the hope of conjuring the image of a defiant woman who had control of the situation. In actual fact I picked my way carefully across the car park, punctuating every, bare-footed step with "ow" and a variety of expletives. However. I was now in the hospital. Sanctuary. I headed for A&E because I knew they were open and had a phone and they were nearest.

The woman on reception was obviously having a bad night. As I walked up to the desk, she took in my unusual attire and made some obvious, if incorrect, assumptions.

"Hi there" I smiled at her wanting her to be my friend and help me as swiftly as possible. "I wonder if you can help me. I live in accommodation across the way and I've managed to lock myself out of my flat. Would you be able to ring security and ask them to let me back in?" She looked at me with the well-honed withering look that only a seasoned receptionist can muster. "You're ... locked ... out?" by which she meant "You've been out having fun whilst I have to deal with people vomiting and exuding bodily fluids over me for a minimum wage. Often they are drunk, mentally unstable or both and I have to smile and be sympathetic to people who in the majority of cases have brought their current misfotune on themselves. You included". I smiled and tried again "Yeah I know. It was a really stupid thing to do but could you please find someone from security?" I was hoping for a drop of the milk of human kindness. What I got was curdled. However eventually she rang them and a couple of minutes later my knight in a high vis jacket came through the swing doors. He laughed, I chuckled good naturedly - yes I'm a silly girl aren't I but I'm getting a bit chilly now and the joke wore thin some time ago - and he went to find a key.

The various drunk, stoned and generally insane people had been watching this unfold with the relish that one normally only sees around the guillotine. Chuck in some knitting and we'd be back in Revolutionary France. Slightly irritated by their nosiness, I turned and looked at them in the eye. "It's OK I work here" I explained in a cheery up-beat tone now possible because I was nearly back home. They didn't seem convinced that all was OK. Annoyed by this collective judgement, I followed it with "In fact I look after your drugs". If that doesn''t scare the crap out of them then nothing will. That'll teach them. At this point my knight arrived with a grin and the keys. He even offered me his jacket. (Still no shoes but a lovely warm cosy jacket. It looked really sexy with my duvet).

We walked back to the flat and within a couple of minutes I was back in my room. Having ensured I had my keys and put the lock on the snick, my security hero went back to save another damsel.

I went to bed musing that if you're going to leave a place it's best to do it in style and there's nothing more stylish than a peach duvet cover.

x

My new obbession

2009-08-31T10:51:00.002Z

I've spent my Bank Holiday productively.

This morning I discovered "Electric Sheep". A blog and .... oh joy .... a podcast! I love it because it's slightly lo-tech and has a homely radio 4 feel to it.

Having down-loaded all 20 podcasts, I've made myself a cup of coffee and am settling down for a day of knitting (whilst I sew!)

x

Dolly

2009-08-23T20:05:00.002Z

At the moment I'm doing a course called the "Artistic Way" in preparation for going to Uni.

Each week you're set challenges and tasks in order to connect you with your inner artist. One thing you do each week is have a "play date". The idea is not that you do rigid, boring things that get you wound up in knots, but something fun, creative, childish and (my favourite bit) cheap. It can be spending the day drawing, or building sandcastles or playing with glitter.

Or you can make a dolly out of a wooden spoon as I did. I've had the spoons for a few weeks and thought I may make a doll out of them in some way. Today I had the whole day set aside for just that. I went to the haberdashery shop yesterday and bought bits and pieces to tart her up with and this morning, whilst listening to the Archers Omnibus, I set about working.

First she had to have some hair.

Then I had to make her a dress. Naked spoons so utilitarian.

Then I set about adding bits and pieces that I thought may make her sparkle a bit.

Then she was finished.

I'm so pleased with her and how she's turned out. She may have that home-spun look and she may be a bit cheap but I don't care. I absolutely adore her. For a first go I couldn't be more happy.

I love my dolly.

Another weekend, another cathedral

2009-08-16T08:48:00.002Z

Yesterday I caught the train to Durham to look at the cathedral. It was a gorgeous day and I was looking forward to spending the afternoon sketching and photographing. These are some of the high lights.

Above is the "Pieta" made from beech and brass. It was truly beautiful. The wood made it so tactile I found it very moving.

Below is some of the sketching I did whilst I was sat in quiet contemplation.

A trip to York

2009-08-08T19:07:00.002Z

The joy of being "up North" is that I'm only half an hour away from York, so this morning I grabbed my sketchbook, pencils and camera and jumped on a train.

It was so nice to just wander around and I'd forgotten how much I loved the city. I did a little retail therapy but mostly spent the day sketching and taking photos. Most o my photos were taken in the Minster.

I don't normally take pictures in cathedrals, however, the glass was too tempting and the minster isn't actually used as a place of regular worship so had less of the "hushed tones" feel that lots of churches do. Of course I did lots of sketching and tonal work too, but I wanted to share these.

Stained Glass

2009-07-26T13:42:00.002Z

So now I've settled into my new (if temporary) home and I've recovered from my trip to Berlin, I finally get a chance to sit down and share with you what I've been doing.

I've always loved stained glass and how the light shines through it and makes it sing. I've wanted to do something with the colours for ages but was unsure what exactly, so it's just sat in the back of my mind until we went to the Kaiser Wilhelm Cathedral.

The glass was beautiful and the setting inspiring. I started by making some sketches of the colours I observed. Within the blues, there were shades o turquoise, green, pale blue, deep evening sky blue, purple, as well as golden yellow and red. I was transfixed as I tried to capture the ideas of these colours with my oil pastels. I think I did an OK job.

The idea that started to form in my head was that of replicating the feel of a stained glass window as a form of patchwork. When we got back to Chester the fun started. (What am I saying? The fun continued). I popped into Liberty Bell - a fabric shop in Chester - and spent what seemed like ages trying to get the "right" shades of material. I guess really there is no right as this is a translation of an idea rather than exact replica, but I wanted colours that would work together. In the end I decided upon 7 fat quarters and some thin, black bias binding. That done I could set about work cutting up my material into irregular shapes and then hand sewing the edges with black bias.

Progress is slow, but I'm really enjoying it and there is no real rush. This is for my own pleasure. I want to damp-stretch these individual pieces - I think that may be a good idea - and then I want to sew them together with no real plan. Just random. From there I'll cut them into larger squares and then ... I'll see what happens.

I know it doesn't look very exciting at the moment and it's going to take a while to produce anything that makes sense, but I wanted to show you what I've been inspired by lately. I know I'm enjoying it because I can't put it down, I'm still in my pyjamas and I've been main-lining tea all day - a sure sign of creative endeavours.

Enough already!

2009-07-23T22:16:00.002Z

As a Health Care Professional, I am really sick of Swine flu.

All we hear about is "There's been a new confirmed case of Swine Flu" "Stocks of antibiotics are being bought on-line to protect people" "Immigrants are responsible for Swine flu". Ok maybe the last one is in my head but it's only a matter of time before the Daily Mail makes the link.

But please, reasonable, sensible people, please listen. Swine Flu is just a type of flu. It's no worse than any other. In fact it's probably safer. Look at the stats. So far there have been a few hundred cases of H1N1. Each year between 250,000 and 500,000 people die of seasonal flu. Let's get a a grip.

Seasonal flu is the sort that we have every year. No fancy, sexy prefix. Just flu. The problem is that most people think they have flu when actually they have a (granted a bad) cold. When I was a baby tech we learnt this basic method of diagnosis.

You're in bed feeling under the weather and there's a tenner on the floor. If you can get out of bed to pick it up, you have a cold. If you cannot leave your bed, you have flu.

Please remember that whilst Swine flu has claimed lives, it is still rare for people to die. If you have suspected symptoms, keep warm, drink plenty of fluids and rest. Chances are you'll feel rough but will get better.

Antibiotics are optional.

x

The Reichstag

2009-07-17T18:03:00.002Z

DQ and I went to Berlin the other week.

We saw amazing architecture - the most impressive of which (for me) had to be the Reichstag. I'm a sucker for big glass structures and this is big. It was a lovely, clear evening so I was able to get some fab shots. Obviously this is the dome.

and this is the view of the city from the top of the dome.

The structure itself is astonishing. It's so light and airy without being cold and clinical.

I just couldn't stop taking shot's - the lines and reflections are really inspiring. I'm not sure where it's going to go yet. I need to work on it some more but at the moment I'm busy with other projects but no doubt I'll come back to this at some point.

At last

2009-06-25T21:29:00.002Z

On Tuesday I finally finished college!

After 2 years of hard work and some tears, I had my final exhibition night. Of course it wasn't just me, I was surrounded by the rest of the people on my course. We were easy to spot - we were the ones grinning like complete idiots with shear relief.

I took some photos if you're interested ....

My piece of work comprised of 7 twisted strips of acetate that were suspended. Originally they were in front of the window where it was easier to photograph them. However as the day wore on and the sun moved round, my tutor suggested moving them so they were against the back wall. It makes them harder to spot in photos and I'm not convinced she was entirely right but I was past caring and just wanted the thing up and to be done.

So this is what they looked like when they were finally in place. And can you believe I forgot my camera so had to borrow Mummy G's!

I was so pleased with all the positive comments I heard from people during the show, especially after I'd had such a lot of hard work to get to that point - not least of all having to re-do the entire lot of sculptures in the medium I'd been wanting to do for ages when my tutor finally "suggested" that maybe I should give acetate a try. Two weeks before the show! However As you see I made it.

It was a wonderful evening and even friends from Liverpool came it just for the show. (They had meetings at work the following day). I was still floating the following day which made dealing with the Tube during rush hour an awful lot more bearable!

Work continues

2009-05-30T21:35:00.002Z

These are the experiments I've been busy with for my final exhibition. As you may know the final piece is based on lines and twists inspired by leaves and ribbons. My work has steadily progressed to experimenting with acetate and now fabric. I've been playing with varying methods of stiffening. Below are photographs of my plaster of Paris experiments.

These are OK but not really suitable for the effect I want to achieve. The plaster alters the appearance of the fabric and the stiffness has a very brittle quality. The piece requires some level of manipulation to create twists in various directions and unfortunately, as soon as I start to do this, the plaster starts to fracture, causing the material to become too soft.

Hmmm.

However, I found a stiffening product in my local haberdashery the other day and the experiments with that seem to do the trick nicely. I promise to post more pictures as I work through things. The end is definitely in sight!

Ladybird, ladybird.

2009-04-25T19:06:00.002Z

The other day, I was sat talking to a friend about blankets. I've recently made a couple of baby blankets which I really enjoyed making and were huge hits. Whilst talking with a friend, we talked about potential themes and this was one of them. I'm not sure if it's not too depressing for a baby blanket. Any thoughts or criticism would be gratefully received.

An experiment

2009-04-25T13:40:00.001Z

I just wanted to check something

Productive Tuesday.

2009-04-21T19:01:00.002Z

I saw the sun shining through the blossom this morning. It fired my imagination in ways that hopefully will become clearer over the next few weeks. Meanwhile, I had college stuff to do so here's some of it.

As you may know, I enjoy a bit of "free sewing" from time to time. It reflects how my head feels sometimes and today was no exception. I acquired a lovely length of bandage that I free sewed into. As I did so, it pulled slightly which gave me another idea for my work.

This is what happens when you pull free sewing into a ruffled "thing". I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do with it but I'm really excited by it.

I'll probably post more as it develops - lucky you!

Dating

2009-04-19T10:18:00.003Z

Over the last couple of months I've been experimenting with dating. For ages I've resisted this, not because I didn't want to but because it's quite daunting. I've always made excuses - "I don't know how long I'll be here for", "I'm too busy at the moment" etc. We've all done it. However, on a Friday night there's a group of us that go out for dinner. We're all in similar positions and as we've talked, I've realised that the idea was less of an impossible thing.

It's been great fun. I get to dress up, sparkle and meet new people. I go out with chaps who aren't my lovely drinking boys and therefore enjoy a different dynamic. It also provides me with something that's not work or college - creating greater balance. (At last!!!!!).

Yesterday was no exception. I sat in Covent Garden with a nice chap enjoying a glass of wine and the sunshine. The conversation sparkled and we both enjoyed ourselves. Then it went a bit wrong. He asked me if I wanted to go to Madrid with him next weekend. I laughed him off politely and had another sip of wine. "Why not?" he asked. "Because I don't know you. This is a first date. I'm sorry but no". He sulked a little bit and then rallied. We enjoyed the rest of the evening and said goodnight however, I don't think there'll be another.

I was talking with DQ about this. Dating is a bit like shopping in Sainsbury (or Waitrose if you prefer). You have a list in mind of what you want but then something catches your eye and you try something new. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't but if it doesn't work, there'll be something else to tempt you. Sometimes it's a bit hopeless but then you just buy a bottle of wine, some chocolates and sit in a girlfriend's kitchen swapping stories.

Not only has this experience provided me with some much needed fun with chaps but it's also enhanced my relationships with my friends. If nothing else we now have a new topic of conversation over dinner on a Friday. It sure as hell beats talking about how crap work is.

x

Yay the warmer weather

2009-03-29T09:41:00.002Z

I'm so pleased that the warmer weather is here.

Of course the last few days have been wet and windy but Spring wet is different to cold, dank wet. The warmer weather seems to lift the spirit and make things seem more possible. It's been just the boost I needed. I've not been well since Christmas and despite starting to get better at the end of January, I seemed to have reached a plateau. We had some bad news the other week at work which didn't help so I'm pleased that the warmer weather is here.

I'm starting to plan some new projects which also helps and lovely Britswitch has been available for coffee at a moments notice - God love her. We had a lovely day the other week, sitting in Covent Garden, people watching, enjoying a pint and relaxing.

Amid this I've had my UCAS application to do. It's all done and dusted so now it's a waiting game. Whilst waiting I'm organising my port folio into some kind of order and selecting which pieces to include and which to not. I think working on my 365 project has made me more analytical about my work and has made it an easier task than maybe it would have been at the start of the year.

I'm off to enjoy the sunshine.

x

What I've been up to

2009-03-08T07:49:00.002Z

I know it's been ages since I last properly posted stuff. I suddenly don't seem to have any time again. I'm finishing another baby blanket that a friend asked me to make, working and catching up with friends. I have been good at posting on my photo blog and have been really enjoying the challenge of finding things to photograph. Of course I've had college work as well which has been very interesting of late. Having made some progress, I thought it was high time I showed you what I've been doing.

This photo is part of the initial series that started it all off. I've gone back to leaves but concentrating on the lines more. Where the edges are.

Having worked out what bit of the leaves I was interested in, I was browsing in my local fabric shop and found these gorgeous, gauzy ribbons. They had the width and definite edge of the leaves but they also had a transparency that I'd noticed the leaves possessed when I photographed them. So I took these ribbons, cut them into lengths and placed them on plain cotton fabric. Because the ribbons had been wound up, they had kinks and coils to them that I wanted to try and preserve in the stitching so rather than flattening them to the cotton, I used a few tiny stitches to anchor them to the fabric, allowing them to still twist and thereby creating a slightly 3D piece of material. I then marked sections and photographed and drew them to see where my interest lay.

During tutorial, B and I talked about what I'd done. It was really helpful to talk it all through as it helped clarify what I was interested in. It turned out it was the lines, edges and curves/twists. So from there, B suggested that I made more twists out of random material. She found some acetate for me, cut it into strips and I was away. At first I made a couple and photographed them individually.

Then I wanted to see what happened when I stacked them. At this point I got very excited. All those beautiful, sexy curves. Yummy. It reminded me of Henry Moore and Richard Deacon.

I made similar twists with other pieces of material, cardboard, package strapping, clay, paper etc, but it's the acetate that I really love.

I was talking about it with someone yesterday and again, talking it through helped me clarify what it is I like about the acetates over the others. The edges are very clear and defined but the body of the strips don't overpower. With the other pieces, the actual width of the strip seems to engulf the edge and diminish its impact. OK that may sound arty, pretentious, nuts, but it's how I see it. If you compare the edges of the with ribbons with the acetates and then the ribbons and the package strapping, hopefully you'll see what I mean.

Anyway that's where I'm up to. I'm not sure how this will relate to fabric. Maybe I'll play with acetate and ribbons. Maybe I'll try something else. I have no idea. Still it's very exciting.

meme

2009-02-15T21:09:00.003Z

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? The book my mother was reading whilst she was pregnant with me

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? 4 weeks ago when I came out of the doctors.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yep.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAT? Ham.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? No.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Absolutely! I'd take me out for a beer on a regular basis.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Are you serious?

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Sure why not?

10. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE CEREAL? Weetabix with hot milk so it looks disgusting but tastes wonderful on cold, wet mornings.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? if they're laced yes.If they're buckles then I unbuckle them.

12. Mysteriously vanished

13. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM? Ben and Jerry's cookie dough.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Eyes, and a sense of calm

15. RED OR PINK? Blue. If I must red.

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My inability to share.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My friends

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? Not if they don't want to.

19. WHAT COLOUR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Neither.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Gaslight Anthem.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? Magic multicoloured

23 . FAVOURITE SMELLS? Creosote and coal tar. Fresh cut grass

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? DQ.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yep

26. FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Rugby. Brian O'Driscoll. Ronan O'Gara .... Hottie sandwich.

27. HAIR COLOUR? Light brown with red, copper and purple high-lights.

28. EYE COLOUR? Blue/gray

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No.

30. FAVOURITE FOOD? Baked salmon

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy Endings.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Wall-E.

33. WHAT COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Blue

.34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter. You can add as many layers as you can. There's only so many you can remove before you get arrested.

35. HUGS OR KISSES? Depends on who it's from.

36. FAVOURITE DESSERT? Tarte au Citron

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? No idea

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Ditto.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING RIGHT NOW? Second Glance - Jodi Picoult

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I don't own one.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? I don't own TV.

42. FAVOURITE SOUNDS? The ring tone on my phone. It makes me smile.

.43. ROLLING STONES OT THE BEATLES? The Stones

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU’VE BEEN FROM HOME? The edge of my imagination.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I can touch my knees with my nose whilst standing up. Flexible yet single.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Downpatrick. Northern Ireland.

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GET BACK? Anyone's.

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? I was lying by the pool on a tropical island. I was minding my own business, when Johnny came and sat beside me. We started chatting and that was it. He told me he had to spend the rest of his life with me. Then I woke up.

H-o-l-i-d-a-y

2009-02-15T16:08:00.005Z

I know it's been a while. I've been busy!

Before you start to wonder. He's not mine. This is Bean's 9 week old son and he's gorgeous! I had quite a cuddle over brunch today.

I'm currently in Chester visiting DQ and friends and having a much needed break from it all. As I said I've been busy and haven't had time to do much other than work and sleep (after a fashion) and college. Eventually something had to give and it did in usual Hottie stylee. Things have settled down considerably so I decided it was high time I got away from it all. After a phone call to DQ, I booked some time off and got myself on a train. I've been here since Wednesday evening, spending the time, reading, photographing everything, wallowing in the bath, having the odd lie-in, stealing DQ's music and having lunch in some of my favourite places. I'd forgotten how good it can feel to be this chilled. What am I saying? I can't remember feeling this chilled out in more years than I care to mention.

To be honest I don't have a lot to report that seems significant in anyway, so I'll just bask in the glow of relaxation induced by a nice beer and a magnificent win by Ireland in the 6 nations!

x

A series of happy events

2009-01-18T08:12:00.003Z

Last Tuesday at college turned out to be better than I thought it would be. My tutor and I had a really good chat about my last project and she had some helpful comments and pointers (although telling me I was "just nudging a Distinction" was not one of them). Rose and I had a very long talk the previous night and she made me realise it's the fun and the journey which is as important if not more so than the destination. I spent Tuesday taking photos and drawing with a new enthusiasm and direction.

The rest of the week passed with relative quietness. On Thursday I went and looked around a Uni I'm interested in and came out an hour later brimming with excitement. The facilities are excellent and I seemed to get on well with the head tutor. Now all I have to do is apply!

I had to work yesterday morning but it was pleasant enough and we were out by lunchtime. I ran into town and bought some fabric and some new sewing patterns before meeting Bre for a quick coffee. I showed her my fabric, she "oooohed", I showed her the pattern, she looked impressed. All too quickly we said goodbye but I had a date to keep.

I got on the train and headed to London. I had time to kill before meeting Brits, so decided to go to Liberty. I'm not sure what it is about Oxford Circus but I always find it disorientating. Yesterday was no exception. I emerged up top and walked in what I thought was the right direction. Evidently it wasn't. However I did stumble across "Faith" and they had the shoes I'd lusted after in Oxford and they were in the sale and they had them in my size. I bought them in 5 minutes. I came out very happy with myself and went in search of Liberty. I found it after a quick call to Brits - "They've moved the building again!" - and went to the knitting wool section. I looked at all the beautiful colours before finding the stuff I wanted in a colour I liked. I then had to buy some needles because I didn't have any with me and thought I'd get started whilst waiting for Brtis. I carried 4 balls of not-cheap-wool, a pair of needles and some other tiny bits to the till, where the lovely sales assistant put through my goods. "£10.45" she said. I couldn't have heard that right but I didn't want to alert her to her mistake. I handed over my card and thought"I'll check the chip&pin display". There it was £10.45. I paid quickly and got the heck out before she changed her mind.

I found somewhere warm and comfy and spent a couple of hours starting my knitting and waiting for Britswitch to meet me so we could go and watch Marcus Brigstocke record "I've Never Seen Starwars". For anyone who's never heard it on Radio 4, each week Marcus invites a guest to try things they've never done before - read a particular book, listen to a type of music, try something - and then rate the experience. We managed to get seats on the front row and settled back for an hour and a half of joyous entertainment. The guest was Suggs, who I've always liked and he didn't disappoint. He was funny, clever and up for all his tasks. I won't spoil it for anyone who'll listen to it but will mention one moment when I was particularly excited. It appears that one thing he hasn't done is read "A Brief History Of Time". It was discussed at length taking in Stephen Hawking's obvious enthusiasm for his subject (count the exclamation points in his book!) and the fact that you've just read a chapter and finally got a handle on it and then he summarises it in a couple of sentences that make perfect sense. Then Marcus gave him a little test to see if Suggs had really read the book. "Who discovered gravity?" "How many months in a light year?" "What is Einstein's Theory of Relativity"?". Of course these were easy enough to someone who's currently (Still) reading about string theory!.Then Marcus asked "What's the difference between a quark and a graviton?". When I leaned over and whispered the answer to Brits, she looked at me with a mixture of amazement (at the depths of sadness I've evidently found) and bemusement (why would you need to know that outside of a physics lab?!).

We left very happy whilst I wondered whether or not I could get my hands on the copy of A Brief History of Time they had been reading. I as in geek heaven.

x

Pedant's Corner

2009-01-13T20:36:00.003Z

When we went to the cinema the other night, Bre and I saw the trailer for Seven Pounds - the new Will Smith film.

During the course of the trailer Will's disembodied voice told us that "God made the world in 7 days".

"No he didn't" I leaned and whispered to Bre. She looked confused "Yes he did" she said with absolute certainty.

"No he didn't. God created the world in 6 days. He rested on the 7th day - hence the sabbath".

Maybe it's that special Scientologist version of creation.

x

Sketchcrawl

2009-01-11T12:48:00.003Z

Yesterday was sketchcrawl day.

I decided to go to Oxford for a couple of reasons. Mainly, it's quite civilised, I love the architecture there, I wanted to get this traveling there via public transport thing licked, and wanted to have a snout in some decent shops.

I was up and out the door early and was greeted with a sharp frost. I decided to catch the train to get half-way to Oxford (it's quicker and the same price thanks to my Young Persons Rail card - stop sniggering) and then caught a bus the rest of the way. Last time the trip took over 2 hours. This time and hour and a bit. Success at last!. I had a quick breakfast and then got on with the day's work. It was fine but absolutely freezing and my poor fingers were a deeply wrong shade of purple-red. Mental note to self - should buy some gloves that allow me to draw whilst wearing. I also found it quite tough to know what to draw. I know, I know - no rules - but even so ... having somewhere to start is always handy. Getting decidedly frost bitten I decided to cut my losses and indulge in some retail therapy. I was very self controlled and only window shopped but it was still fun. I think I may even have left the SPG in a shop somewhere. I hope he behaves but really he's not my concern.

As I headed home, I got a text from Bre asking me if I fancied a trip to the cinema to see The Reader (beautiful - I cried). We met for a pre-show drink and catch up. I recounted the day's events and told her about my self control over a pair of shoes I found in Faith. "They were beautiful. Deep Cherry, couple of inch chunky heel. They were reduced from £60 to £30. I did think about getting them. I mean they'd go with everything and the heel would be comfy enough for all day at work because of the chunk ... but even so" Bre looked at me with astonishment. "Why on earth did you not get them. They sound like you'd really live in them". "Well ... they were nice. Gorgeous in fact. But they're over in Oxford now. I can't go back next weekend, I'm busy and I doubt they'll be there the following week. Damn if only I'd got them!!!!". Bre looked sympathetic. "It's ok there's a branch in Norwich.I'll go in my lunch hour when I'm at college on Tuesday". Fingers crossed they'll have them there.

x

Watching fire

2009-01-06T19:14:00.003Z

Today being Tuesday, I should have been at college. However I didn't go. Yesterday snowed and as D and I had coffee, he informed me we were set for more. Whilst I'd love to have an excuse to stay in Norwich, I didn't fancy getting stuck there and not being able to get back to Bucks so decided to stay put and head over to Norwich next week.

This morning I had a sort of lie-in and bounced out of bed to look at the snow. ... Er yeah ... about that. It never turned up! Bloody typical! I had a moment of Catholic guilt and then thought "Well I have a day off! What shall I do?" I texted Britswitch who was available for brunch.

I'd warned Brits that the Gnome would probably be with me. At first she thought it was some sort of Victorian euphemism. When I explained, she told me that she'd do her very best to drown him in caffeine and sugar. God love her. We met at St Pancras so I was able to do some college work. We passed time drinking coffee and eating chocolate spread and cherry jam. Hmmm. When she left I wandered over to Tate Modern.

There's been a Rothko exhibition there since September but I just haven't got round to visiting it. Of course, it finishes at the end of the month so if I wanted to see it I had to get my arse in gear. As you can imagine being a fan of his work, missing was never really an option.

This afternoon I took advantage of the kids being at school and headed over to Tate Modern to indulge. I bought my ticket and an audio guide an spent 2 and a half hours of bliss. The exhibition focused on his "Late series" - a lot of dark, brooding colours - black on maroon, maroon on red etc. The first 2 rooms were about Rothko, his works, sketches and how Tate acquired 8 of the Seagrams murals. Then I went into the big room that had 14 canvases. I completely lost track of time. I moved towards the end of the room and sat absorbed in one I hadn't seen before. All of a sudden I had a moment. Rothko does this to me. I can't explain it. All I know is that I have an emotional response to his work. I spent sometime with this one painting and having found tissues (I always go prepared) and composed myself, carried on with the rest of the exhibition. To get out, you had to go back through this big room. For me it was an excuse to spend more time with my painting. I stood there in awe, having removed my earphones so that I could enjoy the picture without annoying foam muffling my ears and slightly dulling my senses. Again I felt something in me shit and I went with it. Reaching for a 2nd tissue, I lost myself in maroon and red. Imagine my surprise when I realised that not only was someone stood next to me but they were talking to me. "Oh my God! You're actually crying". Feeling slightly stupid I turned to meet him full in the face.

"Yes I am. I can't help it. There's something about Rothko that does it for me".

"I'd heard that his art causes some people to cry bu never thought it was true" he said looking at me with some curiosity. Normally I would find this really rude, but his surprise was genuine and his interest didn't feel intrusive. At first I told him that the experience is hard to explain. It's something you either feel or don't. He asked me if I found it a religious experience and then went on to elaborate that "religious" didn't have to mean God. (How enlightened). I'm not sure about religious but I certainly find it a spiritual one. I explained that Rothko was interested in whether or not he could provoke an emotional response without any real frame of reference other than a block of colour. He looked and instantly I knew that although he didn't feel it, he knew what i meant.

"It's a bit like looking into fire. Each person will see something different".

"Ah" he said with understanding "I have that when I look at the sea".

"Exactly" I said beaming. "It also depends on what you bring with you when you look at these. What day you're having. What's on your mind. I've been several times to visit the Rothko's and while I often respond to one or other of the canvases, it will change from visit to visit".

"Really?" he said with some surprise. He looked again with renewed interest. "Well I'll leave you to it" he said with a smile and wandered off.

When I turned back to the picture, I smiled. I felt something in me shift.

I walked out of the exhibition with a smile. "Did you enjoy it?" enquired the woman as I had back the audio guide. I opened my mouth to tell her how beautiful I'd found it and couldn't. Words failed me and a fresh wave of tears threatened.

x

Guests, fish and Self-pitying Gnomes

2009-01-05T21:40:00.005Z

At around lunchtime on today I found myself looking after an unexpected guest. The Self-Pitying Gnome seems to have popped by to say hi. Being a gracious hostess, I agreed to let him stay for lunch (I say we had lunch. He did, I went for coffee with D, who decided I needed to get out of Distribution for a while). When I got back the Gnome was still there.

I thought this was a flying visit but I suspect that was wishful thinking. He's visited before and I know how it works now. He pops by, we have a love/hate affair (including the feeling of self-disgust) for a few days, then I start to piss myself off never mind anyone else and give him a kick up the arse.

I guess it's a culmination of things that have heralded his visit. Much like a dodgy relative, there were signs. With the relative, phone calls become more frequent and what starts off as subtle hints of "God how long has it been?!" become "So, I'm free at the end of the month" to flat out "So I'll be over at the end of the week". Next thing you know they've eaten you out of house and home, the remote control has become an extra limb and they only leave when you put the house up for sale and try to assure prospective buyers the unusual sculpture on the sofa is in the post modern style.

The Gnome has been lurking for a while. Certainly since before Christmas. My sleep pattern is always a bit ... jazz ... but I know it works that way and don't stress - that makes it worse. Normally it's a couple of weeks of disturbed dreams and broken nights and then I revert to "normal". This time it's lasted since the beginning of December. There have been brief respites but they have been brief. Also there has been a marked increase in siestas (something I do maybe a couple of times a year). So far in a 6 week period, we're up to ... I've lost count ... and fingers. I put it down to the stress of the presentation and then the "excitement" of Christmas/work/staff. (I really must find more accurate terms for stress. Note to self buy a thesaurus). Then there was my Book project grade, increased contact with my family, (normally on a par with siestas), claustrophobia induced by the town I find myself in with little in the way of island hopping opportunities and having to make some significant decisions about my Uni applications. (The up-shot being that although it would be a fabulous opportunity, I've decided not to apply to Dublin for reasons that we'll go into another time). Whilst some of these things have resolved themselves and my world has been a little brighter of late, I think it's all just got a bit sucky. Whilst I appreciate that isn't the most eloquent description, it's the best I can manage. On top of this I've had a bout of friendsickness (homesickness but with people). I thought I'd found some potentials here but that's increasingly less likely. Of course for the Gnome this is the equivalent of an afternoon of Diagnosis Murder curled up on the sofa in his jammies, wrapped in a blanket with endless mugs of tea, a variety of potato based cheese snacks and a box Hotel Chocolat's finest confection. At least he shares.

Incidentally if you're wondering whether or not you're desire to slap me is uncharitable, it's not. If I could, I'd even hold me down so you could get a clear shot. However, I'm using a different technique. Normally I refuse the Gnome entry, barricade myself in, refuse to respond to requests of "let's play" and generally chant the "Gnome? What Gnome?" mantra. Ultimately I feel self-indulgent and don't want to bother anyone with what I deem to be a self-induced "crisis" when they have their own shit to deal with. When I discussed this with my counsellor once, she helped me view the other side of this. Someone else's shit helps put your own into some sort of perspective. Bothering people is ok. And so this time, I'm going to indulge my Gnome. I know his days are numbered - history tells me so - so I'm just going to let it be.

It may take a little longer than 3 days before his eau de cologne starts to hum worse than a barber shop quartet consisting of first-round X-Factor rejects, but it won't last as long as the actual live sing-offs.

x

Decisions, decisions.

2009-01-04T09:53:00.002Z

This weekend seems to have been all about choices. Maybe it's just me but I've noticed there are an awful lot more this weekend than I normally experience.

Friday was the usual where to go, what to do, which culminated in me walking over to Tallulah's for supper. She cooked, I provided the alcohol. We had a lovely evening as always and I was dissuaded from walking home in favour of cabbing it back. (How will I maintain my racing snake physique if this becomes a regular occurrence?!)

Yesterday saw many more choices. One being the colours I wanted as highlights when I got my hair cut. The other involved wax. Then I spent the evening catching up with my friend in Cyprus. We caught up with each others lives which saved me trying to decide what film to watch but opened up whole other cans of worms.

This morning I'm thinking again about Uni applications. I'm back at college on Tuesday and really need to have some firm decisions for my tutor. I've had a lot of thinking to do the last few weeks about it all. I think I'm there but need to discuss it on Tuesday.

Of course some of the decisions I've been making have been fun. As you know my other blog (365) started on New Year's Day. I've found that taking photos, editing them whilst taking them and then editing them on the computer before selecting the final one is quite an interesting experience. This morning's effort was no exception. I can't tell you how many shots it took to finally get one I was happy with.

Maybe this will teach me a skill I hadn't considered before. Imagine what how dynamic I'll be by then end of the year!

x

Quiet New Year

2009-01-01T17:35:00.004Z

My New Year's Eve came with a large dose of deja vu. Last year I lost my voice and spent the entire day squeaking. This year the same thing happened. The only difference was that this year I spent the evening with Bree instead of last year spending it with someone who kept telling me I should be having fun because he was. Bree was a Goddess and cooked while I supplied the alcohol. We had a chilled out evening gossiping, drinking and laughing before I decided to head home at about 11. I was walking home and wanted to avoid the drunks and the fireworks. I got home safely, curled up with my book and read for a while. I watched the fireworks go off and debated taking photos of them for my other blog but decided that a) that would be a bit of a cliche, b) I couldn't be arsed.

This morning happened at a sedate pace. I rang DQ and had a chat with her. She ended up with no heating last night and the emergency guy was going to be with her sometime between 8.30am and 1pm today. Understandably she was frustrated, cold and pissed off. I cheered her up as we played an old favourite "What torture would I inflict?" before she decided to go and chivvy them along. (It was 11.30) I took it as my cue to get washed, dressed and to head out for a walk. I needed to take photos and thought the fresh air would do me some good. As it turned out I ended up at Tallulah's where I spent a large amount of the afternoon. We both remarked how quiet it was and that New Year is always a bit ... meh. We passed a pleasant time watching trash TV and talking about her weird landlord. (He marks everything with a black marker pen).

This evening I'll finish my book - The End of Mr Y (very good) - and take some more drugs so that I'm fit for work tomorrow. At least Monday means this madness will be over and we can start getting back to some sort of normality.

x

Stangulation and Strings

2008-12-30T18:13:00.003Z

I was awoken this morning at 4.30 to the sound of shouting.

It was mine.

When I'm feeling anxious or stressed I have chasing dreams. They occur in all manner of guises but are essentially the same thing. I'm being chased by someone/something that I either know/can't make out. Normally I escape and that's when I wake up. Occasionally I feel a hand on my shoulder which has the same effect. Last night however they caught me and proceeded to try and strangle me. I was my cries of "Help me!" that woke me up. Needless to say I didn't manage to go back to sleep. Thank heavens for Radio 7 and the comedy repeat at that hour of the morning. Gradually I settled and calmed myself, at the same time feeling stupid that at 32 and a half I still have nightmares and wishing that there was someone there who would be the voice of reason. DQ and I have an arrangement that we can ring each other at whatever time of night if we need to. However knowing how tired she's been lately I just couldn't bring myself to dial. Anyway eventually it was time to get up and go to work.

Caffeine has always been a good friend of mine. This morning, however, we have enjoyed a rather more intimate relationship. Possibly not a good idea to combine this with my already jangled nerves but I figured in for a penny. 3 cups before 10am may sound substantial but believe me it made the difference between me functioning at work and being able to manage my team.

At about 11 I went in search of the post. I indulged in a little shopping on Boxing Day via Amazon and was waiting for all my lovely new things. The Goddess was smiling on me after all when I discovered that the book I was most looking forward to had arrived. I now own a copy of The Elegant Universe by Brian Greene which is all about string theory, relativity and quantum mechanics. I'm in geek heaven!!!!

I can't start it yet - I've started reading The End of Mr Y (which also has time travel as one of it's themes) - but I can't wait to start.

My friend at work thinks I'm weird but I can't tell you how excited I am. I'm going to finish the risotto I'm cooking and then settle down for a serious reading marathon. Probably with big mugs of tea. Hopefully inducing nicer dreams tonight.

x

Book project - the result

2008-12-23T20:09:00.002Z

I got a letter in the post this morning which turned out to be my results from college for my Book project.

I got a merit.

I appreciate that it's a grade that other people would be happy with, but I'm not. I did all the things that my tutor and I talked about and that she got excited about. I followed her advice and experimented. I made work sheets that were bold, interesting and visual. I connected my research with what I'd done and how it had inspired and informed my work. I worked myself stupid, had no social life for 3 weeks (not to mention plenty of evenings I stayed in just finish some piece or other) and ended up with a poorly stomach in the run up to the end if this project. And for what? For her to turn round 3 weeks later and tell me that the things that I did which she had suggested were the areas I needed to work on!!!!!

I know it may sound churlish but what did I do this for? Britswitch was encouraging and reminded me that this was Access and the way to learn was to fail.

Well I'm learning.

It seems that in Access, your work is only interesting if you fashion a sculptural letter "S" into a double ended penis, cover it in glitter, cage it and then use it to describe the sensation of ejaculation (I'm not kidding - this was someones project last year). How can I possible compare with that?!!! Damn Nature for giving me a double X chromosome.

I'm off to indulge in a couple of glasses of naughtiness and get creative, thinking how I can recreate my reproductive organs in toothpaste tubes.

x

Living's a problem

2008-12-21T20:19:00.003Z

Today hasn't panned out the way I'd planned.

For a start I had to work (and thus missed the Archers omnibus). In fairness they were desperate or else they wouldn't have asked me in the first place. I am after all a locum and they already pay through the nose for me - imagine the weekend rate.

This afternoon I sat and did some work before I went out for dinner this evening with Tallulah. It was still a celebration - it was after Solstice - however, the evening turned into quite a reflective one. We talked about current situations. Neither of us are particularly happy where we are but at the moment there isn't a way out. She has to do her training for the next few months and I have to wait here until I go to Uni. In the meantime there is really nothing. For me, I feel that I'm disconnected. All I seem to do at the moment is work or college and that's it. It feels like everything is going on around me but I can't find a way of being part of those things.

I think part of the problem is that I'm finding it hard that I have no car. Whilst I'm quite happy with public transport, it doesn't seem to quite work in the way I'd like. What am I saying? It doesn't work at all. If I want to go to London, it's fine but if I wan to go anywhere else then I'm reliant on a lift and I don't like to ask. People here already have their own lives (usually involving significant others). It also doesn't help that there is a distinct lack of "my sort" of people here. Don't get me wrong, I work with some great chaps, but you know when you just click with a group? So far that's really only happened with Bree and Tallulah. I guess I'm feeling a bit friend-sick. Sensible Hottie tells me that this is only a temporary blip and it'll get better - if not immediately, then at least in September, but that seems like a long time to wait. I'm reminded of something a friend said a little while ago. She commented that she was tired of just existing and wanted to be able to live and enjoy that living. Right now I know how she feels.

It's not that I want to be out every night, getting wrecked and enjoying some kind of wild existence - I've done that and it gets boring really quickly (not to mention knackering). I suppose I want to settle. The realisation has come as a shock. I never expected to feel like this but there we are. I want to settle in a nice place, with groovy people, a good night scene and a couple of decent pubs where I can work on art stuff without drunken arses being .. well drunken arses.

Where I currently am is not that place.

So I have to exercise patience - grrr. I at least have hope. As the days get longer and brighter, then so will my future.

x

Plus Ones

2008-12-19T18:12:00.002Z

Inspired by Roses, I thought I'd share one of my recent favourite songs. I discovered this through a friend and completely fell in love with it. It took a couple of listens before I twigged why it was called "Plus Ones" but when I did, I loved it even more. My friend and I had a very excitable conversation at work about how clever it was. Since then I've been telling as many people as possible about it. I've tried to find a version with a decent sound, so I apologise for dodgy camera work. Anyway Okkervil River with one of the smartest songs I've heard in ages.

x

PS if I was really clever, I'd be able to stick it into my blog but I'm not. Sorry

x

Mon the Biffy!!!!!!

2008-12-18T20:23:00.003Z

OH MY GOD!!!

Last night I went to see Biffy Clyro at Brixton. It was fabulous. There had been a little bit of anxiety with tickets and things but yesterday afternoon I left work (eventually), got myself together and headed over to London. I'd arranged to meet Scooooter and his friend Rock Chick at Brixton. They weren't going to be there until 8-ish due to the fact they were both working in Oxford and had to drive over.

I went and hung out at St Pancras for some important art project research. I apologise to my lovely friends who received very enthusiastic texts from me but I just love St Pancras station. It's beautiful, light and airy with a elegant combination of naked brickwork and Victorian iron-work. I was beside myself with joy.

Eventually I left and headed over to Brixton. Scooooter knows that I get anxious about being at places at the right time (he has similar anxieties) and so very thoughtfully suggested we met in a nearby pub including cleara and precise instructions on how to get there. I found it no problem and waited, killing time with some surreptitious sketching and people watching. At about 7.30 Scooooter and Rock Chick arrived and we all had a quick pint, catching up and generally getting excited about the gig. It's entirely Scooooter's fault that I've fallen so in love with the band. I used to flat share with a disgusting individual who was really into them. My logic was if she liked them, there must be something wrong with them. He was determined to prove me wrong and burnt their last album onto a CD for me. I was hooked after the first 3 songs. As we walked to the venue, I reminded him that I didn't like them. "But of course" he said with a grin.

We got in and caught the end of the Frightened Rabbit set. They were excellent although Rock Chick and I had wanted to hear "Backwards Walk" (we either missed it or they didn't play it). However they are definitely worth seeing. Apparently they've improved since the last time the others had seen them and given another year will be fab.

After the set we moved to the back and centre of the floor, standing just near the mixing desk. "If this is where they think the sound is best," said Scooooter pointing at the sound tech "this is where we want to be". Who was I to argue?. We chatted, we waited, we craned our necks, and then they started. They opened with "Living's a problem" and we were off!. All three of us danced around and sang out hearts out. 4 songs in, I turned to Scooooter, and caught him grinning at me. I pointed out to him that no-one likes a smart arse. The crowd was amazing. I'd been warned how "dedicated" Biffy fans were but hadn't really appreciated it. I mean when you go to a gig, you expect everyone to sing along. Last night I realised that Biffy fans take that to a whole new level. It was phenomenal. They played "Whose got a match?" and I bounced like a loon, "Folding Stars" which was beautiful and unlifting as was "Blackened Sky". As hoped, they finished with "Mountains" and the crowd were as one. I'm sat here writing and realising that I'm not doing it any kind of justice. It was truly one of those things that you have to witness to appreciate.

As the three of us left and walked back to Scooooters' car so that he could drive us home, we discussed the last 2 hours. "Yeah I still don't like them" I announced. The others grinned. "I thought the crowd was quite apathetic" said Rock Chick. The drive home was slow due to roadworks on A40 but we sat discussing the next gig - Gaslight Anthem in February. Apparently more dancing! More singing! More jumping! Can't wait

x

Artistic Plans

2008-12-14T18:34:00.003Z

I mentioned in my last post that I has some plans for projects in the new year.

There are actually two and they both have different goals but will ultimately (hopefully) help me to become more creative and look at things in a new way.

The first is to participate in Sketchcrawl. I found this quite by accident, whilst researching for a different project. As with all things that catch my eye, I bookmarked it and one afternoon had a proper look. It's basically a day when you roam around a place and sketch. How you do this and the length of time you spend is entirely up to you - a certain freedom I like. Sketching is something that still feels quite alien to me and I know I need to work at that, finding my own comfort with it and my own style. Sketchcrawl seems to be a way of achieving both those things. Apparently it's a worldwide thing, with people meeting up and sketching as a group. This isn't really my thing - I'm quite happy on my own (especially with my iPod) and have never been much of a joiner. However I've decided to pick a city and spend the day there drawing. I'll also cheat a little bit and not limit myself to sketching but will most likely include elements of photography, textural analysis and colour observations. I struggled with this deviation of "the rules" but decided that if I make it more relevant to me, then I'll find it easier to stick to and the process will become more informative for me. I also thought that I may have done a couple of these by the time I go for University interviews and a couple more sketchbooks will only look good - as long as they are used properly.

While Sketchcrawl will help with my sketching and interpreting of ideas, the next project will test a whole other skill.

Discipline.

Despite my inner Hermione, my self discipline is not all it could be. I start things with drive and enthusiasm and then get bogged down in "stuff" before having a last minute panic as the deadline approaches (see my last project posts for the evidence!). To try and combat this I've set myself a goal. To take a picture every day and post it on my shiny new blog - 365. (imaginative title huh!). The idea came about after a conversation with someone at college. He and I both use photography as part of our image collections but I sometimes feel that mine look a bit samey. As I thought about this some more on the train, I started to think about how I could use it to improve my photography, play with compositions and gather a range of images that I could use for future projects rather than one for a specific idea - eg "The Book", "Leaves" etc. This was all well and good but I know myself too well, so decided to try and add an element that would encourage some kind of discipline - hence the new blog. I've called it "365" but we'll see how long it lasts. I may have to rename it "4". There are of course rules (much to Hermiones' joy).

* I can take as many images as I like, but can only post one
* The image I post has to have been taken on that day
* I'm not allowed to skip days - except in exceptional circumstances. (I can't be arsed isn't good enough).

It's been really exciting having new things to look forward to and I really can't wait to get cracking. Hopefully both new projects will give me some important skills and, more importantly, allow me to really have some fun with my art.

x

A question of balance

2008-12-08T19:38:00.004Z

I finally feel like I've caught up after my presentation. I know it sounds daft but for the last week I've felt a bit unsettled. I've been coming home from work thinking "Oh I have to do ... for my project" only to remember that I don't. It makes me feel a bit bereft. Don't get me wrong - I have plenty of new things to be getting on with - my next project, Christmas presents, playing with new ideas - but I'm giving up something I've carried for so long and it's taken a little while to get that straight in my head. One part of me will miss it but there is a big part of me at the moment that is pleased that it's done and dusted. I'm sure it's something that I'll re-visit at some point in the future but right now I think a trial separation would be healthy.

There are plans afoot and I've got some projects planned for the new year - more in another post. In fact I can't wait to start but for the time being I'll have to. Sorry for the mystery but all will become clear - promise.

In the meantime I'm remembering how it feels to have a little playtime. I started this last weekend with Bree on Friday. Nothing raucous, just a quiet dinner and a couple of glasses of naughtiness but it was a real tonic. As was the Saturday afternoon/evening I spent with Britswitch. I can't remember laughing so much in ages. Never mind celebrating her birthday (which we did with some style) Hermione was given a day off and my inner 5 year-old was given some much needed freedom.

Fortunately the fun looks set to continue. I'm off to Brixton a week on Wednesday with my friend Scooooter (aka Music Obsessive) and his mates to see Biffy Clyro. I'm really looking forward to it. The band's great and I'm told they're excellent live. Frankly as long as they play "Mountains" and "Who's got a match?" I'll be a happy woman. I don't even have to worry about getting home. I was going to stop in London overnight but Scooooter has kindly offered to run me home as I'm on his way (and he knows I get anxious about public transport). We're also planning to see The Gaslight Anthem in February after he told me how good they were when he saw them on Friday and told me I had to see them.

I'm not thinking about the fact that my application for Dublin has to be in by then. I'll worry about that nearer the time and by having something fab to look forward to, hopefully I won't get so stressed.

I am being sensible and diligent. This evening I'll do some a bit of stuff for Dublin - if only so that I have something to post and therefore prove I'm not slacking off. However It's nice to have some balance at last.

x

Done at last

2008-12-02T21:38:00.003Z

I'm sat at home after a very long day typing this before going to bed.

Today I had my presentation.

After a weekend of sitting at home frantically working (and swearing), I bundled up my precious work and headed for college. I was feeling remarkably relaxed, having finished on Sunday with a "F**k it. I've done enough". (Then I had a attack of panicky guilt so had to ring DQ who assured me that she was sure that I had). Monday never feels like a real day because I'm only at work until and then I'm on a train all afternoon. This time the journey was more sedate. I didn't want my work to get damaged in a crush of travellers. That said I got through London with little trouble and arrived in Norwich in a relaxed state.

I had a pleasant evening with Mummy G. We laughed and gossiped and she gave me some motherly advice. This morning I got up and strolled into college. Because I got there early, I got volunteered to do my presentation first. To be honest it didn't bother me - at least it was done. I felt better prepared than last time and my work seemed to flow better making for an enjoyable experience. I got a huge kick out of standing in front of people and telling them about my project, the journey and my resolved piece. It made a nice change - normally I have to stand in front of people to give them a bollocking.

The journey home tonight took forever. I stayed late at college because the presentations over-ran and I wanted to stay and listen to people who had sat and listened with patience and interest to me. Unfortunately it meant that I missed all my connections so didn't get back home until about 9.

I'm knackered.

I just wanted to say "I've finished" before heading for bed. So there you go. All done and next week is the last week before Christmas. We're starting our Final Major Projects which is really exciting. I've often thought about this project - it's entirely self-elected - and wondered what I may do. As always, thoughts that I've had have changed and undoubtedly my tutor will chip in with her own suggstions. However, I only have to work on that a little bit over Christmas. I'm going to have some time off from college work to focus on Dublin application and portfolio which'll mean no real rest but then again I like it that way. Heaven fore fend that I have a chance to be bored!!!

x

You thought I was kidding?!

2008-11-28T01:40:00.002Z

This was originally written before I went to bed (about 2.30) but Blogger got the arse. It was probably tired. I took the hint. Anyway, once I gave it a rest, I tried again to post this.

As threatened. More of this evening's work (although I think "evening" may now be pushing it)

This is my 3rd sheet (my 1st is in the studio and you've already seen my 2nd). This shows the deconstruction of the bag to illustrate how I can re-construct it within my layer piece (does that make sense?) I'm also planning to use it for my Dublin application - thank the Goddess for cross-over! I'm afraid the only excuse for the awful pun is the lateness of the hour. However it made me smile so it's staying.

The next two pictures are sheet No. 4. It's about the contents of bags - random objects that lie at the bottom of your bag waiting to be rediscovered. I was more interested in the texture of those hidden objects rather than the actual objects. You know when your fingers graze something in your bag and for a few moments you have that "Oh!!! What's that? ... i can't quite ... Oh! ... hang on ... of course it x"

The weird blob in the bottom picture is a photo of the back of my sewing which was then put through photoshop. I found by changing the gradient and inverting it, the stitches really stand out. I also love how the process changes the look of the fabric completely.

Anyway. I think that's plenty for one night. I need to head for bed or else I'll be less than useless at work tomorrow.

It's strangely comforting to be posting my project s I do more bits. If nothing else it consolidates things in my mind. Almost like proper evidence. As I hit "publish post", I feel that I've done a bit more and perhaps the end is in sight after all.

Thank you for you patience.

Still pushing

2008-11-27T23:09:00.003Z

This'll confuse you - two posts in one day - at opposite ends too!

Maybe that's why I forgot to rotate the picture beneath 90*! Anyway as you can see the work continues.

This sheet is now finished and after taking some snaps and spending a few minutes basking in it's completeness, it was time to take it down and replace it with a fresh, virginal sheet that's waiting to be transformed. I'm trying to resist the production-line feel by playing loud music. At first it was through my speakers but at this time of night it's now via my iPod.

I'm sorry if I sound grumpy. I'm truly not - just a bit tried.

I was at work this afternoon and it being pay-day, everyone was talking excitedly about their plans for the evening (most of which involved copious amounts of alcohol). "What about you Hots?" asked someone, knowing the pub ties work as my 2nd home. "Art project" I replied. "But you did that last night. And the night before" remarked someone "Yes and I'll be doing it every night until Tuesday when I have my presentation. "There's alot of hard work" 5 pairs of eyes swivelled in my direction before one brave soul pointed out "But your's is an art course right?". (I say brave, perhaps suicidal may have been more accurate given I had a serious caffeine craving at the time). I fleetingly considered correcting him but I was too tired.

Don't get me wrong - I love this course and particularly this project - but ... well I'm sure you know where I am right now.

On the up-side I have got a ticket for the Biffy Clyro gig in December which made me ridiculously happy this morning.

And my sheets are looking quite good.

Ok, back to work. Will post more pictures when I have them - probably in the next few hours (I wish that were a joke)

Book Project - final push

2008-11-27T00:17:00.002Z

On Tuesday I have to present my finished piece for the "Book" project. Therefore I'm spending each and every night doing all the "little" things that seem to take for-bloody-ever so that my work looks worthy of a decent mark. I've been printing, cutting, pasting, sewing and swearing to fill up spaces in my sketchbook and produce A1 worksheets.

What follows are photos of one of them. The Book project became a kinda fabric layer thing which in turn became a kinda bag/contents of effort. I promise once my brain has realigned itself and I've rewarded mybody with some much needed sleep, I'll try and get it to make some sort of sense for you. In the meantime enjoy the pics

This is a collection of bag photos - both of bags themselves and their contents. One of the more interesting shots was then put through photoshop and I played with some of the effects. These have formed the background of the sheet, with the original photos laid over them. I have also started sticking found objects that could be from the bottom of a handbag on the sheet too. (more pictures will follow).

The other two photos are just close up shots of the A1 sheet, showing some of the detail (such as it is).

Next time I'll try and post how this one turned out and what the other A1s look like.

Right now I need to sleep.

A timely return

2008-11-24T20:53:00.003Z

The last few weeks have been ... well ... eventful.

I've had serious meetings at work which were quite stressful and then I'd come home (eventually) and have to crack on with college work. The problem being by the time I'd sorted out supper, checked my email (looked at what was new on emusic), it'd be at least 8/9 before I'd start working, hitting my stride about 10/11. Aside from trips back to sunny Norwich and college on a Tuesday, my only excursions are on a Friday night with a girl-friend for food and much needed G&Ts.

However, this week I had some fab news. JOY!!!! The Now Show returns to Radio 4 on Friday at 6.30!!!!! At least I'll have to leave work at 6.27 now to make sure I'm by my radio when it starts.

Sad I know, but along with the Archers Omnibus, it's one of those things I can't miss.

x

My new obssession

2008-11-15T15:05:00.002Z

I know I've been quiet of late. I've been hectic busy. I'm currently working on 2 projects for college - my "Book" project and my Dublin application and at work I've been involved in performance managing a couple of members of staff whilst making sure the rest of them do things like making sure we have stock so that we don't run out of life-saving drugs. The only time for relaxation in my life at the moment is the 3 and a half hours I spend on a Monday afternoon travelling home to Norwich and then repeating the journey on a Tuesday. It's so joyous to be able to sit on the train and knit (for my friend's imminent baby) and sew (for my college projects).

To think I was anxious about public transport, now it's a bright spot in the week. I've found ways of filling the time quite easily. Whilst most of this is when I get to knuckle down to some college work, I also get to spend quality with my iPod.

A couple of months ago MO told me about emusic - a music download site which deals in independent labels. I expected it to be bands I'd never heard of and "World" music played by Albanian goat herders on traditional instruments. But OMG! It's filled with stuff I've heard of and lots of groovy new stuff that's down with the indie kids. I've had hours of fun hunting for old favourites and discovering new bands, saving both for future downloading. Each month I pay about £15 for 75 downloads and for the 2 weeks before then, I mentally write and re-write the list of tracks I want from my saved albums (currently I'm up to 73). My life is such an echoing void, that the 75 don't last long. In fact they turned up on Friday evening and I'd used them all by Sunday night. (and I spent most of Saturday out with friends). It took all of my will power not to spend a fiver and get a 50 download up-grade. However I do get to spend my train journey enjoying all the lovely new stuff I've got.

If any of you have any groovy bands that you want to recommend then feel free. I'm always pleased to discover new music and broaden my horizons.

I told MO he's a corrupting influence. He just twirled his moustache and was about to ask me if I'd heard of another site but I put my headphones in my ears and enjoyed The Broken West.

x

Book Project - layers

2008-10-26T09:23:00.002Z

As promised I've finally found time to post some pictures of work related to my book project.

A couple of weeks ago I was set the task of making "tactile board" based on a section from the book I'm using as the starting point for my project. Britswitch and I wandered around London gathering found objects and hunting through charity shops. I took my treasures home and constructed a board but was never really happy with it. Whilst at Roses' one Monday evening, I quickly made a fabric piece. It's based on a character description. The young lady in question wears layer upon layer of clothing most of which is ripped and torn revealing lower layers and textures. (a bit like stripping wallpaper). This has always been something that fired my imagination so I raided my rug box box and made a small sample for my tutor.

We had a fantastically inspiring tutorial. I explained quickly what I'd been doing and the working behind it and she was infected by my obvious excitement. The up-shot was that she told me to go and make a larger piece and make it really dense - somewhere close to 3-D.

Beneath is a close up of some of the different types of material and stitches I've been using.

Below is the piece before I took the scissors to it. Before you panic, it's all part of the plan. First I sew layer upon layer of material and then I'm going to cut into it and peel back some of the upper pieces to reveal lower ones. These will then be stitched in place and then I'll sew more layers again, building the piece up.

This was after the first layer. I love the purple piece and the sage silk.

I've completely fallen in love with this piece. It's wonderful to feel the weight of it as it grows. It's a very tactile experience. The idea is that by cutting, pinning and adding layers, I'll create pockets that the viewer will be able to touch and wriggle their fingers into without necessarily being able to see what they're touching.

Between this, my Dublin application and making gifts for friends, I'm kept out of trouble, but I'll try and keep you up-dated whenever I get a chance.

The Other Place

2008-10-21T17:13:00.003Z

Oxford

I've been working on my new stuff for college - posts to follow - but decided that all work and no play made for a dull Hottie.

Buoyed my success at conquering public transport, I decided to go to Oxford. I invited Bree but when I suggested that we used the bus/train, she looked dubious and told me that transport to Oxford was long winded and a bit hit-or-miss. Anyway, she offered to drive us there so on Saturday we went.

We indulged in a little light shopping and then did some photography for my Dublin application (so I did do some work). By mid afternoon we'd achieved pretty much all we needed to do so she suggested that I texted MO. We'd been talking about weekend plans the previous day at work and when he said that he'd be hanging out in Oxford (where he lives), I joked about telling us where he'd be so we wouldn't bump into him. "You're in Oxford tomorrow?" he asked "Well look, give us a shout in the afternoon and we'll go for a beer". What could I do? So Bree, MO, MO's mates and I all met in the pub (it even had "Tavern" in it's name) for a few pints.

I always feel disloyal in Oxford. It is beautiful and great for shops, however, I used to live in Cambridge and for me it's the university city. I had to be very good in the pub - the C-word is banned - and only mentioned that fact that Cambridge was leading overall in the boat-race in passing. We managed to keep to less controversial subjects - the forth coming presidential election, reincarnation (what would you come back as) and which sections of society would be first against the wall (the Daily Mail may have been mentioned). This time however Oxford felt like a warmer place. It had a groovy little vibe to it and 2 and half hours passed in the blink of an eye.

As I whispered to MO, Oxford is quite nice. But don't tell anyone - Cambridge may hear me and sulk.

x

Small steps

2008-10-08T18:07:00.002Z

This week I finally managed to make it to college.

Due to a combination of people letting me down, not feeling well and work, I've missed about 4 weeks of college. This weekend it became apparent that I was going to have to find alternative means of transportation. As you may remember, Minty died on the M56 in July and I've not replaced her. I had the promise of another car but after 3 weeks of "Yeah we'll go and fetch it this weekend, only to spend 2 days leaving messages on voicemail, I decided to cut my loses and embrace *shudder* public transport.

Don't get me wrong I know it's the thing we should all be doing - carbon footprint etc. It's just that it tends to make me anxious. It's mainly due to the fact that I cannot bear the thought of being late and I have no control over it. Once you're sat there, you're something of a captive audience and being the control freak that I am, it causes me stress. However needs must.

I left work at Monday lunchtime thinking of going home and going to college. I got to the station and the train was waiting for me. I found a seat, got settled and we were off. No going back now. I had to get through London and then catch the train to Norwich. This is another anxiety black spot. I don't like not knowing where I'm going and I dislike surprises. Fortunately I'm sufficiently familiar with the Underground that it proved no bother and I found I even had time to pick up a coffee when I got to Liverpool Street. (Must stop calling it Lime Street - wrong city!). When I got off the train in Norwich, I was probably the only passenger beaming, Seriously - my face started to ache I was so happy to be home. The people are just that little bit friendlier and even the sun was shining.

I spent a wonderfully relaxing evening with Rose and Boy drinking red velvet, eating greasy chicken, painting our nails in fabulously decadent colours and swapping gossip. It was so wonderful to sit there with them. I've been a bit ill with stress over the last few weeks but it all melted away as we applied top coat and discussed waxing.

College was really productive too and my tutor and I had some positive chats about where my work is heading and about my Dublin application which she has said she'll help me with (God knows I need it).

Getting home was an exercise in luck. I walked into town and straight onto a bus that took me to the station where a train was waiting for me. I made all my connections with no hanging around and got home at 8pm (having left college at 4). I was knackered and decided to let O'Neills cook my supper. Whilst ordering, my brain completely froze and I couldn't even tell the token Irish barman what I wanted to drink. Fortunately, it being my local, he was very patient with me and even suggested that I may want my usual tipple. I sat there with a hot meal and alcohol and felt the swaying subside feeling quite proud of myself that I'd done it. I realise that many of you do this on a regular basis and 12 years ago so did I but I felt a sense of achievement none the less.

Just two points of note.

I had to swap seats when I travelled home. The pair of baby Goths, who had taken the seat in front of me, were thrashing around like a pair of love sick eels. Fortunately they got off at Ipswich - figures.

Bolstered by my mini success (of negotiating public transport), I used the facilities. A moment of such pride I felt the need to tell Rose and DQ. (When I returned to my seat!). A small step for man maybe, but for Hottie-kind it was a giant leap.

When I got to work this morning I was chatting to my mate Music Obsessive. I shared my excitement of using public transport and he just looked a bit non-plussed. "I use it all the time" he said. "Yeah but it makes me really anxious" I told him. When he asked me why, I explained to him that I'm anal and I have lateness "issues". He looked at me and said "Yeah I understand that, so do I normally but you have to disengage that when you use transport. If you leave on time you can't help what happens. People are generally forgiving". Maybe that's the ethos I need to carry with me. It was fine and I gained 3 new things.

1 I got work done on the train
2 I was able to listen to the new music MO had burnt for me
3 A slightly over-laddened overnight bag is a jolly useful offensive weapon for people who won't move.

x

P.S. I got a Merit for my presentation. My tutor told me that that was good. I know I have to work even harder on this assignment.

x

Frustrated from Norwich

2008-10-05T17:35:00.002Z

Last night I went to the pub. Not unusual for a Saturday night I grant you. However unlike the majority of people there, I wasn't trying to get pissed or laid.

I've now reached a comfortable level of obsession with my Book project - I've started carrying my sketchbook with me at (almost) all times. When I don't it's usually a conscious decision to remove it from my bag to make space for something else. Anyway, I got up and did some jobs yesterday morning before coming home and hitting the research. I worked in my hovel until early evening and then decided to go back into town. This was for a couple of reasons. The main ones being that I wanted to sit in a warm room - have to figure out how to switch my heating on, and I fancied a pint. And I hadn't been out all weekend.

Quite often if I'm going to the pub alone and not meeting the boys, I take work with me to do and last night was no exception. I headed to my second favourite pub in town (my favourite would have been impossible to work in - no tables and a live band!) and bought a pint before finding a table that had a decent light over it. There I sat plugged into my iPod, pint in hand - absolute bliss. Before we go any further I realise that this may sound odd - Saturday night, sitting in a quite corner, working on my art project - but it makes me happy. The other customers may raise an eye-brow but generally I'm left in peace. I also have had quite inspiring moments watching strangers and letting my mind drift slightly.

I'd been there since about 7.30 and was gently relaxing into my work. After an hour or so I got up and went to get another pint and stretch my legs a bit. I took anything valuable (ie phone) with me and left my work spread over the table. On my return some smart arse had written "I am a fish" on the blank page of my sketchbook. Fortunately it was pencil so I erased it and carried on feeling slightly cross and surprised - it was the first time someone had done that. Some time later I had to use the facilities and get another drink. By this point the pub was filling up and getting noisy so I asked a couple of 30-something guys stood near-by if they could watch my stuff. No bother. On my return however, they saw me and started to say "We're really sorry he'd started before we could stop him ...." at which point a sheepish looking student came over and said "Is that book yours?" Apparently he saw a blank page and thought it would look better if he added some circles to it. In Biro. When I told him it's for my college course he had the grace to look mortified, but what could I do? My "guards" told him he needed to learn to respect other peoples property. I can easily cover it by sticking something relevant over the section but it's not the point.

I realise there are some that would say that I shouldn't have been there or that I should have expected it but to be honest I didn't. I've done college work in pubs and restaurants for so long, I don't think anything of it, and I've never had a problem. Even at the weekend. I wouldn't take anything really precious to do, but I don't expect dick-heads to just draw in a book that doesn't even belong to them because they "thought it'd be fun".

I suddenly missed Norwich.

x

Notes from my sketchbook

2008-09-27T10:41:00.002Z

Gillian asked for pictures of my work so what could I do?!

As you know I'm curently working on "The Book", so have been doing some research in the library and getting information. However at the same time I've made a creative start on the project too. I'm interested in texture and the tactility of books and as you know am exploring the idea of touch.

One of the girls at college mentioned that egg yolk and pigment were used seal middle ages books. I was intrigued by this and decided to have a go. (See the pink page picture). Of course if you split an egg and use the yolk, you're left with white. Not wanting to waste it and being a curious soul, I mixed some pigment with egg white and whipped it up. The right hand side of the picture below is whipped up egg white just dripped onto the page. It gives a beautiful raised effect but obviously it's very delicate. However there was another texture revealed in the "squashed" bits. The left of the page shows exapmles of the egg white/pigment mix applied to different surfaces. There's tin foil, a page from a book and a piece of plain cotton.

The picture below shows pigment mixed with PVA. I had to dissolve the pigment in a small amount of water first and then mix the solution with PVA. I love the effect of this. It gives the page a plastic quality. As it starts to harden you can draw into it and it holds the postion too, so this may be used again within this project. (Depsite the fact that my friend said it looked like someone had sneezed over the page).

The picture below is my egg yolk and pigment page. I love the texture when it's thickly painted - it feels like leather to the touch and will undoubtedly feature in the final piece.

So that's what I've been up to at the moment. I've been looking how the structure and quality of pages change when they are repeatedly screwed up and flatteneed - the fibres break down and the paper starts to look like chamois. I've now got some of those which have been painted with egg yolk/white and PVA drying. When that's done, I may try and stich into them.

This sketchbook feels easier that the last one and certainly more "creative". I've found that I'm experimenting more and am less afraid of asking "What happens if I try ....".

That said, if you have any thoughts or input feel free to share with me.

Happy Hermione

2008-09-21T22:00:00.003Z

How happy is my inner Hermione at the moment?

I'm currently researching my new art project/brief which in itself is enough to cause me to emit little gasps of contentment. (Quite interesting when I have a "moment" in Tesco let me tell you).

However it's the actual title that's got Hermione all weak at the knees.

We were told that we could either continue with "Collections" or work with one of the two new briefs that were on offer. Or combine old and new. The new briefs were

Identity - the hand-out referenced alot of self-portrait type things that to be honest didn't hold my interest. Maybe one day it will as a subject but I was more drawn to the other.

The Book - object or container.

You can see why it was never really a question. All that research ... in a library ... about books!!!! Poor Hermione was beside herself with glee. I've only really started so everything is still very embryonic but I did have a very constructive coffee with Britswitch, who gave me lots of interesting ideas about construction and Japanese book binding. (I fear there may be alot of swearing coming from my room - it's looks like there's a knack to it). I'm looking at lots of geeky research involving average book dimensions, number of books per household etc.

It did occur to me the other day over an inspirational Latte in Loadsabucks, that books are like doors in both a psychological way (ie pure escapism) but also in a physical way. Stand one up and it looks like a door that can be opened. Different genres are similar to different doors. Thick, sturdy practical books have the same qualities as a fire door. Self improvement books are like glass doors - possibly fragile but the best way of seeing what's going on inside.

I'm also interested in the sensation of touch within a book. Thinking about the materials, the majority of adult books are paper. But consider the cloth books you had as a child and how tactile they were. You hold a book for the length of time it takes to follow the story, your fingers are in constant contact with it. It has a weight in your hand, and yet you only really react (and interact) with the inside portion. That led me to consider Braille and how the reader properly engages with the book on a different level. From there I'm toying with an idea of making a book as a construction but one in which the story is read by touch rather than by words.

We'll have to see, as I said it's early days yet. However it's certainly very exciting.

Must go - Hermione needs to get her research fix.

x

First day back at school

2008-09-04T18:44:00.003Z

I've always loved the start of September. There is usually a bit of a chill in the air with odd warm days when the sun gathers itself for one last push. It's time to think about warmer clothes. I often find myself thinking about the dreaded "C" word (sorry Rose) but only in terms of "What shall I make this year?". (Or which of my poor friends will be punished with a home-made present this year?). In addition I normally make chutney the first weekend of September too which is just one of my little rituals. First Sunday in September, me in the kitchen, peeling and stirring, listening to the Archers and the strong aroma of simmering vinegar throughout the house. It is also the start of the new school year.

When I think back to last year, I was so nervous and excited about the adventure I was embarking on. This year I was returning with a clearer idea of my goals and a greater belief in myself but none-the-less still nervous.

I'd actually finished my leaf project before we broke up for summer holidays but my tutor had decided we would all present on the first Tuesday back. Last weekend was filled with panic when I realised that over the last 9 weeks, half my A1 visual sheets seemed to have mysteriously melted away, so my envisaged relaxing weekend, gently tweaking the last few bits of the sculpture and memorising my presentation, turned into 24 hours of whirlwind activity and me chanting my oft heard mantra - "F**K, F**K, F**K!!!!!"

Monday had it's own drama with a hire car but eventually I was heading towards sunny Norwich. It was quite amusing on Monday when I left my department early. My responsible adult was in and I asked if I could knock off early. She looked surprised (I think they were planning on ordering a bed for me) and agreed. I told her what work was outstanding, what was planned for the following day in my absence and left without a backward glance. When I spoke to her on Wednesday she told me she was stunned and was more so when I told her I didn't text Petrolhead (who was covering for me). I told her quite simply that I was back at college and couldn't wait to go home. I arrived at Roses' in good time and enjoyed a bucket of the Colonels finest with her, Boy and the very tolerant Viking. We swapped gossip, drank red and painted our nails. I felt properly rested for my presentation.

Of course you know how these things work. You feel relaxed and confident about a forthcoming event and then it starts and you panic. Welcome to my presentation. It amazes everyone that I suffer nerves because they all know I'm a bit gobby and show no fear. However that's because I'm very experienced at not letting it show. One of the reasons I went back to locumming is that it toughens you up in double quick time. However there are some fears you can't shift and public presentations are one of mine. Especially when I suddenly felt under prepared. Anyway, I did it and it went ok. I guess it's hard to credit your own performance with any merit and other people told me it was good but I'll wait for the result. To be honest I'm looking at as a learning experience and know now how to make the next one better. I also learnt that it's worth 25% of my studio mark so am less worried. At the end of the day I'll be happy with 60% (merit) anything else would be a bonus!

Besides I have my next project to focus on. It turns out we have one more before our Final Major Project (FMP) but I'll tell you more another time.

I went home on Tuesday evening relieved and more relaxed than I've been in ages. It was so nice to be back in the studio and it was fantastic listening to other people. I suddenly felt really inspired to go and try different techniques and experiment more. I ended up ringing my sister whilst driving home and asking her to write ideas down before I forgot them. (She then had to text them to me).

This year will zip by in a flash and I really want to appreciate how my work developes in that time. My challenges for the year are to experiment more and to be less afraid of things going wrong. Listening to other presentations, it was really heartening to hear other people talk about how they had tried something that didn't work and something else had happened instead and the piece developed. I need to remember that and just enjoy the ride.

Maybe that's why I was painting with pigment dissolved in egg yolk last night.

x

Leaf mobile

2008-08-31T07:48:00.003Z

Some weeks (and months) ago you may remember me talking about my leaf project which is part of my college course.

It was our first semi independent project and goes towards a substancial part of our final grade. You may also remember that I promised to post pictures of it. Unfortunately the summer seems to have run away with me what with moving and working and Friday nights out and working and some more working. Anyway as promised (eventually) here are the pictures.

I apologise for the quality (and the mess of my room in the background) but they give you a good enough idea of what it is.

There are things I'd change. The branches have a droopy quality that comes from being bound up all summer but DQ said that it just makes it look like a willow type of tree. The pipes need re-painting which I'll do Tuesday morning before I present it but apart from that I'm really pleased with it. (The orange bucket is intentional - I'm intersted in something that is bassed in nature and has that realistic natural look against something had and industrial)

I now have to present it to my group on Tuesday along with all my workings out (ie sketchbook and A1 concept sheets, experiments etc) but I'm starting to think that I may just pull it off.

Here's hoping for a good grade

V&A

2008-08-16T18:36:00.003Z

I'm sorry for a long silence. Work has been insane and as a friend of mine pointed out, I've turned into a bit of a Pharm-a-tron. I never believed it was possible to love my job again but I have to admit, I do. Unfortunately it means that I've been working a bit too much. My old line manager and friend has now told me that they won't sign any of my time-sheets that exceed 50 hours a week. Fortunately "the boys" have rescued me with much needed trips to our local for a couple of pints. Daz in particular has made sure that I get out of the hospital grounds a couple of times a week. Unfortunately I play just as hard as I work which is why I've been a bit absent.

Anyway I thought it was about time I sat down at my laptop and shared with you the excitement of a much needed day off.

A month ago I sat down with my line-manager and asked for a day off at the next possible convenience. Once she came round from the shock, we looked at the diary and agreed a date. Of course, life being what it is, the day before, we had a staffing crisis with people off sick and on compassionate leave and my day off was in jeopardy. I did offer to fore-go it but my line manager wouldn't hear of it. She felt that after working three weekends in a row (and a grand total of 22 days straight), if I didn't have time off soon, I might as well book a bed on a ward. After some very frantic phone-calls, Petrolhead came to the rescue and agreed to cover for me. I can't tell you what a relief it was knowing that my section was in such safe hands. I left instructions and of course he had my mobile number if there was an emergency.

On the Tuesday morning I slept until 9am and woke with a scratchy throat. Oh joy. I finally get a day off and I end up ill. However I had a date to keep and there was no way I'd miss it. I enjoyed a leisurely shower and then strolled to the train station via Loadsabucks for a much needed Chai Latte. (It's practically medicinal). I know it sounds daft but I really enjoyed the train journey. It may have been pissistently raining outside but I had a flask of coffee and my iPod and no work. I headed towards my date feeling increasingly relaxed. I negotiated the tube to South Kensington and waited to meet Claire. It's funny how you form images in your head. I sat and waited expecting to meet a tall, blonde woman. A dark haired, petite lady walked past and I have to admit, whilst I noticed her, I didn't think she was my V&A guide. It was quite funny when we realised who each other was.

I'd never been to the V&A before and Claire had kindly agreed to show me round. It's an amazing building and requires more than one visit to fully appreciate it. Claire's obvious love of the museum was inspiring and infectious. We walked through rooms of silver and stained glass (I was in heaven) and wondered about the quality of light and how glass can be transformed by it. We looked at the new jewellery gallery which was stunning but a bit packed with people. Claire's knowledge is incredible and makes her an excellent companion as she explained various things to me. Gradually we made our way to the textile gallery. It was a little confusing and we had to ask for directions a few times but eventually we found it and I was in heaven. There were so many examples of fabric, lace and embroidery. We both found the detail of some of the work astonishing, especially when you consider the lack of mechanisation. These were pieces produced by skilled individuals. It was quite humbling.

Poor Claire was limping when we finally walked to the coffee shop for a much needed sit-down, coffee and a chat. Eventually we left and made our way back to our respective homes. In my head were plans for my next visit.

It was so nice to have a day off although I did text Petrolhead a few times to make sure all was well. (I did wait until 11am!) He was very good natured about it and gently ordered me to enjoy my day - which I did. I also promised to take him out for noodles at some point as a thank you.

Next time I go, I'll take a big, blank sketch book, pigment pencils and a fully charged iPod. What a way to spend to a day.

x

Child's Play

2008-07-27T20:25:00.002Z

I thought I'd share with you some of my recent work for my uni application.

As you may recall, I had a dilemma a few weeks ago as to whether or not buttons could be counted as clothing. Eventually it was decided that they were - I'd always thought so but it was the justification that worried me. Anyway, I've been drawing and painting buttons for the last couple of weeks. While doing so, I considered what else could be used as a button. Whilst strolling though town I popped into a toy shop - the type that sells cheap and cheerful plastic toys. I bought some small rubbery men and as I drew them, I was reminded of the shape of gingerbread men.

A couple of days later, I bought some sponges and using an old flat sheet, I did some printing. It was also an experiment with layers of colour. I'm not sure if I'm heading in the right direction, but I had lots of fun.

May have to suggest I do this with my niece and nephew next time I see them - if my sister's laminate floor can take the abuse!

A Rose by any other name

2008-07-23T19:05:00.003Z

Thought I'd share with some photos with you.

I took these the other day when out walking. I was struck by how dark the foliage was - really made the flowers shine.

The petals looked quite interesting in this shot and I love the very faint blush of pink in the centre of the flower. (Probably not visible in the photo but it was there honest)

May well find a use for them as part of my Garden project

x

R.I.P. Minty (or how Daves came to my rescue)

2008-07-16T20:16:00.004Z

The tremour has subsided and loss has dulled enough for me to share with you my adventure the other Sunday.

The weekend before last I went to sunny Wirral to visit friends. It was DQs leaving do at work and she basically told me I had to be there or she'd hunt me down. To be fair it wasn't really much of a threat. I never need a big excuse to head up North and see friends. I especially didn't need an excuse when I looked at "What's on" in Tate Liverpool and saw a Klimt exhibition. I was there.

Friday was fantastic. DQ bought me champagne to celebrate that I'm officially clever. Unfortunately she doesn't like it much so I ended up drinking most of it myself. Saturday happened very slowly. By 3.30pm DQ, Hazel and I all agreed that I wasn't suffering from a hang-over (a what?) and that I was still vomiting because of the previous week's stress and it's effect on my stomach. DQ and I had a very relaxed evening. I watched the final episode of Doctor Who and DQ was under strict instructions (from Hazel) not to interrupt with questions of "Who's that?" "Why's Billie there?" "What parallel universe?".

On Sunday DQ was off on holiday so Hazel and I headed over to Tate. OMG it was beautiful. Lots of stunning paintings and a whole room dedicated to his drawings of nudes. Hazel took me out for a gorgeous meal and discussed what we had seen, the previous night's Who, The Now Show and the cute m'aitre d' who had a sense of humour.

Eventually Hazel dropped me off at DQ's where I'd left my car and I headed back to Bucks. I left at 8pm so knew I'd get back at about midnight which was fine. I'd enjoy a nice straight drive on reasonably quite roads and have a decent kip before heading in to Basra (the new name for my department). I drove along the M53 and then turned onto the M56. Ah heading to the M6 and that lovely toll. (It really is my favourite road). And then my lovely Citroen Saxo - Minty - started to do something worrying. She slowed down and started to smoke. I pulled over onto the hard shoulder and phoned the AA. As on previous occasions, they were prompt and extremely comforting. I explained the problem to the AA man - Dave - and he went to get a water filled tube with a turkey baster, squishy thing on the top. "Ok I'm just going to do a quick test. Let's hope this doesn't change colour". He squeezed and I hoped.

"Oh"

"That's changed colour hasn't it?"

"Yeah"

"So what do that mean?"

"Your head gasket's gone"

"Oh. That sounds expensive".

"Yeah about £500 - 600".

At that point I just burst into tears. Dave was fab and let me gather myself before telling me we needed to get off the motorway and then make some decisions. It was my first experience of towing and it was quite nerve wracking. We got off the M56 and onto a quite bit of road where Dave explained that my cover didn't include getting me home. My best (and cheapest option) was for Dave to tow me back to Sandbach and leave the car at a garage he used. Then he'd drive me to Crewe train station and I'd catch a train from there. He used his phone to call National Rail Enquiries to get train times and made sure I was ok before we commenced the next hour or so of towing. Eventually we got to the garage and I left Minty for the final time. I had to make sure that I removed anything of value (fortunately I'd travelled light to Wirral) and Dave drove me to Crewe station.

I got there, found my platform and settled down for the evening. It'd just gone 11pm and my train didn't go until 4.02. I rang Hazel to let her know what was happening and texted Petrolhead who I knew would still be up and would make me smile and then read. At just gone midnight the police came and told me that the station as closing and I had to leave. I panicked and explained to them that my train didn't go until 4am and that I had nowhere to go. I think my potential tears made them think twice and they left me where I sat. Then Dave the station guard wandered over to me. He asked me which train I was waiting for and I told him. "Ok" he said "I'm just going to lock the front door. Wait here". He came back a couple of minutes later. "Ok my office is down there (indicating the platform). It's warm and dry and reasonably comfortable. Follow me". I did with relief and love him, Dave made sure his internet was working and showed me which chair was the most comfortable. He then offered me a cup of coffee which I accepted gratefully and caught up on my emails. I was resigned to not sleeping that night despite Dave promising to come and collect me in time for my train. True to his word at 3.45, he knocked on the door. As we walked across to the right platform, we stopped to unlock the main entrance and stood outside enjoying the early morning an a cigarette. (It would have been rude to have declined!). We walked down to the platform just as the train pulled in and as I settled into my seat, Dave waved me off and wished me luck.

I got to Birmingham and strolled from New Street to Moore Street to catch my next train at 5.45-ish and then changed again an hour later for the train to take me home. At 7.30 I got off my last train and decided to cab it back to the hospital. (The walk is about 15 minutes but I knew I was pushing it for time). I got home, dumped my stuff, showered, dressed and was in work for 8.15. (Something I'm quite proud of). My line manager saw me in the morning and asked me how my weekend had been when it all hit me and I had a bit of a moment. She was astonished and told me I should go home but I couldn't. There was too much work to be done and jobs I'd left on Friday were still un-done.

I spoke to the garage and it was decided that it would be cheaper and easier to have Minty scrapped. I was very sad because she and I have been everywhere together. She and I have had so many adventures and I love her. But she is only a car. An inanimate object and I have to be practical. So at the moment I'm sans vehicle.

I was very fortunate and well looked after. AA Dave even rang me mid-morning on Monday to make sure I got back ok which I thought was really sweet. Even when my phone lost service in the early hours of Monday morning (and was only restored on Friday), I knew it would be ok even if it has taken me a week to be able to post about!

x

Crowded House

2008-07-12T18:31:00.004Z

After a week from hell (details will follow when recalling events don't make me convulse) I really looked forward to the gig at Thetford Forest. As you may recall I was off to see Crowded House. At the start of the week it was 50/50 as to whether or not I'd be able to go. However She was looking after me and Thursday afternoon saw me travelling along the M25/M11 towards of an evening of fabulous entertainment.

I'd never been to Thetford Forest so it was quite interesting and I was curious to find out how it would work - in amongst the trees. I got there quite early and had a stroll around before finding a pleasant patch of grass and eating a hot dog. Whilst sitting I was able to observe my fellow concert enthusiasts. When I'd parked up, I was a bit confused. I saw people getting long canvas bags containing poles out of the boot of their cars. I knew that there was camping in the forest but it hadn't occurred to me that anyone would. Apparently it hadn't to them either. The bags contained canvas chairs. As I looked around me, I had a nosey at the picnics. There no pasties and limp sandwiches here. Oh no. People enjoyed sun-dried tomato dip and olives. Boxes of wine were being shared amongst friends and I promise I saw one guy walk past carrying a champagne flute. This wasn't just salubrious. This was M&S salubrious.

The first support act came on and the evening started. The singer was a man called Don McGlaschen who had a selection of sweet songs and a chilled out vibe. I felt very smug as he performed the last song of his set. It was one I'd heard him perform with Neil Finn when the latter was being interviewed for Radio 2's Glasto coverage. It's a really beautiful song called Anchor Me and I just couldn't help but sing along.

Whilst I was waiting for the second support, I got up and wandered towards the front. The difference was quite interesting. We went from evening picnic enjoying live music to a proper if intimate feeling gig. The second band - Delays - were fantastic. All guitars, poppy, electric. I loved them and they really got the crowd in a groovy kind of mood. Mid way through their set I looked across the crowd and spotted some friends of mine so moved my way over to them to say "hi". I ended up hanging out with them for the rest of the evening.

When Delays had finished, we caught up on gossip and waited for Crowded House. They came on and got stuck in with a rousing rendition of When You Come. When Neil took the mick because Mark deviated from the set list to play Something So Strong as the second song, I knew we were in or a classic CH night and they didn't disappoint. They mixed old favourites with some new stuff which sounds really good. They played all my favourites including the beautiful Silent House and Fingers of Love as well as Don't Dream It's Over. (I think if they ever didn't play that, there'd be a riot). The encore was just as energetic and Neil certainly had his "devil may care" head on, announcing that although they'd played the "traditional" encore, they wanted to keep going and so did we. Eventually after 2 hours on stage they left and we wended our way home.

At the start of the week it was in the balance as to whether or not I'd be able to go, but I'm so glad I did. I danced and sang my heart out and after an otherwise shitty week, it was a real bright spot.

It's official - Crowded House are still groovy.

x

Allow me to show off

2008-07-07T00:25:00.002Z

I've had a hideously busy week and what was a lovely weekend has seen me sitting on Crewe train station at 1.30 in the morning. Details will follow but I wanted a moment to show off.

I got a phone call on Thursday evening.

I'd had the day from hell on Thursday. Seriously it was the closest I've ever been to doing something unprofessional at work. Fortunately my sort-of-line manager - TTM - was there to keep me sane. It was towards the end of a long and difficult week dealing with staff who thought work was something that happened to other people and the solution to not getting the day off they wanted was to phone in sick for the rest of the week. Anyway as I say it was tough. And then I got a phone call from my Visual Art in Context tutor.

We were able to get our grades last Monday but I was working and so couldn't get into college to pick them up. On Wednesday I still hadn't had the promised email so contacted my head tutor (who's email address I had) to chivvy him along. So picture the scene. It's about 5.30 on Thursday evening, it's been a long day/week, I can still see the stack of work that's to do and I know that I have Friday afternoon off which surprisingly is not a comfort. My mobile rings and whilst I am at work and TTM is stood with me I kind of think "fuck it" and answer it. Especially when I see it's a Norwich number and I'm already into overtime.

I hear the Northern tones of my tutor. "Hi Hottie I'm just ringing with your Unit 4 result". My heart stops and so does my breathing. "The first part was 68% and the second part was 64% giving you a combined total of 66%". That ladies and gentlemen is a Merit. My heart sank. I hadn't got my distinction. As he explained how I could have improved my grade I barely listened. It was the final straw of an already shitty day. When he finished with feedback, I thanked him in a quiet voice and fell silent. "Well I know you're probably a bit disappointed" he said "but you still finish the module with a Distinction".

"What?"

"You finish the module with a Distinction".

"Sorry but are you sure? How?"

So he explained to the girl with half a frazzled brain cell that despite the fact that I only got 66% for my final unit, my other grades were high enough (70%, 74% and 73%) to pull my average to just over 70% and therefore a Distinction. He had to explain this to me v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y before I understood what he meant and then just had mild hysteria down the phone. TTM shot me a look of concern until I explained that I'd got the grade I wanted and I had to apologise to my tutor for my slightly emotional response. He laughed good naturedly and told me that it was ok and that he was really pleased for me because I'd worked so hard and had really deserved it.

When I got home I texted and rang everyone I could think of to show off that I was officially clever. Britswitch rang me the next day with congratulations and as we talked I confessed that I was a bit disappointed that I'd only got 66% for that final unit. "But you still got you're Distinction" she pointed out "Yeah but it would have been nice to have got the set".

Some people are just never satisfied.

I am clever though!

x

So much for the relaxation

2008-06-29T12:58:00.002Z

On Monday I was looking forward to chilling out and enjoying the summer.

And then I had the rest of the week.

Tuesday was a bit of a running around and tidying day. I'd had a lovely meal with Rose, Boy and Mummy G the night before so Tuesday was dedicated to finishing off stuff. I was meant to be in college for "about 2pm" to look round the end of year show but it was nearer 5 when I got there. I was wandering around minding my own business when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned round and was face to face with my adorable friend Jacobus!!!. Despite regular emails and texts, we haven't actually seen each other since Christmas. We barely left each other all evening. Jacobus and the others got more and more drunk as the evening progressed but they truly deserved it. The work was brilliant when you think that they've produced it all in a year. As the evening wound up, they all went on to somewhere else. However, I had to drive home to Bucks so as hard as it was, I had to say goodbye. Jacobus was already organising the next meet up. Apparently I'm not allowed to drive so that we can get very drunk together. As I said, eventually I left and got back to Bucks at about 11.30. I had to do some unpacking and write a couple of emails but finally I got to bed.

I was a bit apprehensive on Wednesday walking into work. I'm now officially Responsible Adult for my section which means I have staff! (I know me, responsible!!!!). Being away for 2 days meant that they were left to their own devices and whilst they do the job required, they sometimes need a little ... direction. When I walked in I was amazed There wasn't a mound of messages and problems, there was no outstanding work and the place looked reasonably tidy. We had to restructure the work slightly because our whole dept was closing down Thursday morning for our annual stock check, but we all worked very hard and at 5pm I walked out of the dept and got ready for Noodle's leaving do.

We all met in the noodle place in town (like we could go anywhere else for her leaving bash). The meal was lovely as always and some of us went on to the pub later for a pint. I will really miss her. No longer will we be able to go for a post-work coffee or cheer-up noodles with a good healthy dash of gossip. She's so sweet and gentle which is why she gets upset by the things that are wrong. We're very similar people and it's be odd to think that she's not there anymore. The do was great and didn't finish too late. I was home about 11. (My new shoes were wonderfully comforatable as I walked up hill all the way back.) Petrolhead and I continued to text until the wee small hours, dissecting things that had been said that evening interspersed with general flirting.

Thursday was hectic as we knew it would be. We were supposed to have the actual counting done by 1pm so that we could re-open the dept and do our proper work. However it became increasingly obvious that that wasn't going to happen. My section was fortunate. Because we'd re-arranged the work for Wednesday and Friday, and because I'd spoken to the wards about what service we could and couldn't provide, we were able to get on and our levels were counted and adjusted on the computer that day. I stayed until 7.30 finishing off and adjusting the stock levels with my line manager which was the perfect opportunity for a chat. I now feel less worried about being a Responsible Adult. I dashed out of work to home, got changed and was straight out the door again to meet my drinking mate, Daz. I'd had a text from him the other week complaining that we hadn't had a chat for ages so we made a date for Thursday. After the stress of the stock check and a couple of slightly emotional days, it was just what I needed. However as always when we get talking, it was late. He walked me home at 1am and we chatted on my front step for a little bit. It'll be a while until I see him again because he and his gorgeous girlfriend are going on holiday for a bit so I knew it'd be a long-ish night and just thought f*** it.

So Friday was back to normal for my section although we had people phone in sick so we really had to get on. I was a bit Strict Nanny and had to remind people to pick and talk. However we got it all done. My student had the study time I'd promised her and all of the ward items for that day were picked and packed by 5.15. It might not sound like much of an achievement but believe me I was so chuffed. I didn't think we'd ever finish at one point and at 2.30 when I still hadn't had lunch, Petrolhead almost bodily removed me from my section telling them "She be back in half an hour. Answer the phone and take messages" and me adding "Leave things on the side and I'll check them when I'm back". Lovely, lovely Petrolhead sat me down with my coffee and let me burble. I don't let my staff see me stressed but he knows me well enough. We talked, he soothed, I went back, it was done. I stayed til 7.30 again because I'd had to withdraw my offer of possible help in the afternoon and had felt bad I couldn't help the dispensary. They were still counting and I'd been unable to lend them anyone to help. I stuck my head round the door after I'd sealed the last of my boxes and offered to adjust levels on the computer. I sat there, mug of coffee on the go, ipod on and sang, all alone in my section until 7.30 when one of the others said they were going home. I allowed Mr Domino to cook for me that evening and don't remember much of it past the 2nd big mug of tea. I texted Petrolhead and thanked him for taking care of me and fell asleep.

Yesterday I had to hand back my Norwich key so now I officially don't live there anymore. It felt odd but it was a nice day and I listened to Glasto highlights driving back. It was the most fleeting of visits. It just needed it to be done. I got home, showered and put my jammies on and I'm still in them.

Today is a day to myself. I've had a very leisurely breakfast and may do a little painting later as part of my Dublin portfolio but not alot else!.

Sorry for such a long post but as you see I've not had a moment to myself all week. So much for chilling out!!!

x

School's Out

2008-06-23T12:52:00.002Z

I'm sat here with a sense of quiet relief.

I've just finished my final class at college. It was a nerve wracking event. We had to present an artist to the rest of the class. We had to look at a range of their work and try and make links to what we'd covered in previous units. I picked Antony Gormley and questioned whether he was an artist or exhibitionist. I've spent the last 3 weeks working on it and of course had a last minute panic over the weekend. I approached it this morning with calm but as it got to my turn, nerves kicked in. Anyway I did it and although I think half of it left my brain, I mentioned all the important things I needed to so I'm happy enough. My friend is convinced that I deserve a distinction even though I felt I rushed it but I have to wait until next week for the results.

So now I'm sat at home feeling slightly lost. For the first time since last September, I don't have any college work to do. This summer I'll be working on my application for one of the unis I'm interested in but that's not really working. There will be alot of experimenting and I'm sure I'll bore you with processes and results as they happen.

I just can't believe that I've done a whole year. It's been really hard sometimes - although not the actual course (well if we don't include Life Drawing!) As always my friends have been fabulous. Holding my hand when I've needed it and slapping me and talking sense into me when hand holding was pointless. It's been quite a full on year, but then is there any other way of living? I've made fantastic friends at college and at work and I've done things I never thought possible, not least finding myself drawing strangers in cafes of my own volition.

Next year will fly by and should be less complicated. My Visual Art in Context classes are for one year so I won't have that in September. All I need to do is one day each week of studio time. We'll be working on uni applications and our final major projects and I know this will still make it a very busy and intense year but at least I can just concentrate on the practical.

In the meantime I'm just going to play for 9 glorious weeks.

x

And then my day got better

2008-06-21T13:44:00.002Z

I know a second post in the same day but I'm so excited.

I'm off to Liverpool in a couple of weeks to see friends. Whilst doing some research for my final college assignment, I was hunting through the Tate Liverpool website and I saw something that made me shriek with excitement.

I've already spoken to DQ and begged her to let us go. I can't believe lots of beautiful Klimts will all be in one place that I can go to. (I know i sounds daft but OMG!!!!! It's Klimt!!!!!!)

I'm almost as excited as when I went to see Henry Moore there.

x

New Shoes!!!

2008-06-21T11:24:00.002Z

My mate Noodle and I walked through town the other night and popped into New Look so she could look for some work t-shirts. I have to admit it's years since I've been shopping in there. It just feels a bit too teenage for me. Anyway we wandered around and Noodle picked some tops. We headed towards the changing rooms and as we walked past the shoes, I saw them.

I've never really got overly excited about things like this before. I tend to live in Docs of all varieties. However I was in complete smit. Noodle was terrible. "They're really lovely and they'd go with everything. Dress up with smart trousers or skirts. Dress down with jeans. And they're only £12". Fortunately I had no money, so I went away and thought about it.

Yesterday we were in town again for a post work coffee and wandered past New Look. This time I'd just been paid and when we went and had another look, I still loved them. They had 2 pairs left a size 4 and a 6 (my size). "I'm not sure. They have a heel" Noodle sensed the waver in my voice and grinned "But it's not very high and they are soooo pretty". I tried them on, tottered a little bit and then completely fell in love.

When I got home I put them straight on and wore them around the flat all evening. I did debate whether wearing them in bed would be going too far but they were so comfortable.

I've promised to wear them for Noodle's leaving do on Wednesday. I can't wait.

I know I'm sad and a bit shallow but these are the most exciting shoes I've ever had. Red, shiny and a bit tall. How gorgeous!!!

x

Dating conventions

2008-06-17T20:15:00.003Z

I'll warn you this is another of those navel gazing posts prompted by a conversation with a friend at work.

My friend Petrolhead and I have always got on well. We understand each other's sense of humour and know what the other is thinking. We also tend to see the world in a similar way. Being able to have such a laugh makes work alot more bearable. Unfortunately our colleagues have a very conventional opinion of our friendship. Obviously we're dating. I can see how they would leap to such a conclusion, we flirt outrageously and share lots of laughs together that the others don't usually understand. However we're mates and we've both said how much we really love that. When I've needed a hug at work, there's been Petrolhead and the world has been a bit brighter. Neither of us would want to loose that. We flirt as we do because we're both very comfortable with each other and know where the boundaries lie.

The other morning we were having coffee and sharing observations, when a colleague walked past and gave us a knowing look - "Oh yeah. Having coffee together again".
"It's so funny how they think there's something going on" I noted.
Petrolhead agreed "They just can't imagine that we could just be friends".
"No offence but you know I like the fact that we're friends. There's just that line we'd never cross. I like that I can hug you and not worry about you thinking I want to have sex.".
"None taken Hots. Besides while I think you're intelligent, fun and curvaceously attractive, I think your a bit too unconventional for me to date".

And that's what got me thinking. I've never considered myself as unconventional before. I may be giving up my career to go to uni and it's a standing observation in my family that my only (younger) sister is the sensible one with a husband, children and a mortgage. However I think I'm fairly average. I may wear blue mascara in my hair at work sometimes, but I pay my taxes and sleep horizontally.

As I thought about it I realised that it was a huge compliment. I mean who wants to be ordinary? As DQ wisely pointed out

Unconventional is a state of confidence in individuality most only dream of.

x

Birthday Bliss

2008-06-08T09:08:00.002Z

Last Wednesday I did something that I don't often get to do. I had a day off. I know that sounds mad. I don't work week ends and I only work at the hospital part-time, but actually when I 'm not "at work", I'm usually busy with assignments, making leaves, and seeing friends. The chance to have time to myself to do something with no pressure is a rare and wonderful thing. But then again if you can't have a day off on your birthday ... .

On Monday I handed in my penultimate Visual Art in Context assignment. I still have to do a presentation in a few weeks but that's about it. Tuesday saw my mobile really coming together. Our student tutor was, enthusiastic and encouraging and I just bounced along all day. When I slipped on the first leaf I almost cried. I'm sorry if that sounds mysterious and I promise there will be a proper post on this in the next few days. I drove back to Bucks on Tuesday night and just relaxed and prepared myself for the following day.

I always love my birthdays but in recent years they have become more reflective. As Northern Monkey observed - they are a time to make you think. When I was 30, I partied for a week seeing friends and doing lovely things with people I love. Last year was odd because I'd just moved to Swindon and I had to work ( a real shock to the system). However I did get a letter from college offering me a place on the Access course. This year I wanted to relax and have some quiet time to myself. So that's precisely what I did. I was up early and had text and phone calls from people wishing me a happy birthday before I finally got dressed and headed to the train station. I had planned a very decadent day. People watching in Covent Garden and then quality time with Rothko. I got into London with minimal problems, although there was a points failure and we had to change trains, however by 11 I was sat on the steps in Convent Garden people watching and starting my uni application project. (Again more will follow in due course). After a couple of hours of drawing and working I was joined by my friend, Minx, and we sat in the sunshine, eating falafels and gossiping. Eventually she had to go back to work so I headed over to the South Bank and Tate.

I quickly made my way to the 3rd floor and the Rothko room. As I said to DQ - 1 room, 9 Rothkos, 5 movements of Beethoven's 6th symphony and many, many tissues. What a glorious way to spend an hour. (the tissues were in case I found it all a bit moving which I did but in the best possible way). I did hope to find some sculptures by Richard Deacon there too but unfortunately Tate don't have any at the moment so I decided to head home. Strolling along in the late afternoon sunshine, enjoying an ice cream. I didn't think the day could get better.

Whilst I was on the train home, Noodle rang me to wish me a happy birthday. She and I were going out for dinner the following night but I'd already decided to go out on Wednesday too. The joy of cheap noodle bars in town means that I can have a night off relatively guilt-free. Noodle decided to join me and we had a lovely evening of gossip and laughing. We headed to the pub for a quick drink to celebrate and while we were there, I bumped into another friend who persuaded me to stay after Noodle had to go home. I finally got home at about 1am.

All in all a chilled out, laid-back enjoyable day just what I needed.

x

Please Help

2008-06-05T07:21:00.002Z

There will an update on the leaves and my yesterday in the next few days, however I have a semi-urgent request and I thought you may be able to help me.

As you know I'm applying to university to study contemporary textiles. One of the unis I'm interested in doesn't interview. All their applications are done on portfolio. To make it fair and even, they have a portfolio brief which all applicants follow, thus making it easier to compare.

Yesterday, whilst enjoying a well earned day off in London, I sat in Covent Garden people watching and starting this brief.

And this is where I'd like some help and advice.

The first exercise is a brainstorming one. We're given 4 words - Location, Lifeforms, Tool and Clothing and have to come up with "a visual list of as many different examples for each of the themes". The next part of the exercise is taking one word from each group and working further with it. This extension includes close visual studies, breaking the object down or dismantling it, arranging pieces in a new way, placing the object in a different environment, looking at it in terms of stacked, hung, flying etc. We also need to compare and contrast a particular location in different conditions. The examples they use are Chocolate box on a table or in water, or a pencil case as part of a meal. Obviously it can also include a textile approach to the study.

Now you have the background here's the request.

Could/would you consider BUTTONS as clothing?

From the list of objects, it was the item I was most drawn to but I'm not sure that it's "right" and appropriate. I wouldn't worry about it normally but this is for my uni application so I don't want to screw it up.

If it helps other words on the list include -
Ties, saris, knit, texture,trousers, embellish, corset, foundation, uniform, PPE, apron, weave.

That's my dilemma. Any help/advice would be appreciated.

x

Some leaves

2008-06-03T07:08:00.003Z

Ok as promised here are some more leaf pictures.

I'm sorry thee are only a few and there are none of the actual structure but there will be more to follow. The picture below is a leaf that has been egg washed. It has a really lovely gentle lustre that I liked. It reminded me a bit of the waxy leaves you get but slightly less shiny. It's been on for about 3 weeks now and it doesn't seem to have bloomed so I'm really pleased with the result. I know Gillian voiced an interest in the result. I hope she likes it.

The following two pictures are leaves with the chemical structures attached. The first photo is oxygen (the red stick-y one) and a section of chlorophyll (the long chain). Chlorophyll is a really big molecule so I decided to just bead sections of it.

This leaf showws another section of chlorophyll.

I have to go now. College awaits and hopefully I'll talk to my tutor and resolve the last few problems I'm having with the piece and then it'll be finished. Pictures of the structure will follow I promise. Hope these are enough to satisfy for now.

x

Tickets and Porn

2008-05-30T07:21:00.002Z

Yesterday was a day of great excitement at work.

Don't get me wrong. Work was not exciting. It was the usual complaining nurses, complaining patients, complaining staff. (Remind me again why am I planning my escape?). No. The reason for excitement was some post that arrived for me. In the morning I received concert tickets. Thanks to the lovely Murph who mentioned the Crowded House gig some time ago. As you probably know I am quite a fan. I've been wanting to go since Murph first mentioned it but being a poor student has meant that I've been sensible. However this week I threw caution to the wind (thanks to some birthday money) and treated myself to a ticket. It arrived yesterday and certainly brightened up a potentially dismal day.

If that wasn't exciting enough, that afternoon 2 books arrived for me courtesy of Amazon. They're both along similar themes. The first is called "The Art of Embroidery" and the other is called "The Art of Knitting". I discovered the knitting porn book in the college library quite by accident and fell in love with it immediately. When I discovered that there was an embroidery equivalent, both went on my Amazon wish list. Yesterday they arrived at work. How I was able to put them to one side and continue working is still a mystery but I managed it.

Last night I worked on my mobile (pictures will follow I promise - I don't mean to be such a tease) and then I settled in bed with a big mug of student tea, a notebook and pen and my books.

Absolute bliss

x

Chaos and carnage

2008-05-27T07:12:00.002Z

Before you panic and think that this will be about some Bank Holiday pile-up don't worry. It only involves my sister's living room. In fairness I may have been a little bit responsible.

I drove over to sunny Lincolnshire on Saturday. I stopped in at Cambridge for my friend, Toad's, 30th birthday barbie and caught up with all my lovely friends before I trundled over to my sisters'. I arrived relatively relaxed until she announced with great excitement that we'd be watching Eurovision. My sister and I get on quite well and I wondered what I'd done to deserve this punishment. It was bad enough that Doctor Who wasn't on, but to make me watch a song "competition" was no way to make me feel better about it. Nor was bribing me with wine. Although I let her try. Anyway eventually it was over and I was allowed to go to bed. (She not strict - I was sleeping on the sofa).

I was woken at 7.30 by the sound of my niece and nephew talking "quietly" at my door. "Is she awake?" "No. I stood and looked at her and she didn't answer me when I called her". She did but she hoped if she played possum, she may get left alone for another half hour. Ah well. We all had breakfast and then I decided it was time to play. I'd bought an old flat bed sheet and had cut it up into sections. I opened a bag full of tissue paper, paint, glitter, beads and sequins and explained to the children that we were going to paint. (I'd already asked my sister if it'd be ok and she was fine about the impending mess. The idea was that I'd get to play with the small people and that they'd make nice things for my wall. There was also a serious point to it. I wanted to mess about with them in the hope that it would help me discover something different creatively. It worked and has given me some new ideas for future projects and different methods.

10 minutes after we started, it was decided that maybe putting newspaper under the sheet would be a good idea. My nephew, Monster stood there with a piece of bubble wrap covered in paint and dripping gently onto the laminate flooring as my sister and I shoved old newspaper under the masterpiece that he was currently working on. My sister has the patience of a saint. She didn't even shout when the tub of snow glitter fell over. She calmly mopped it up and told Monster, "I think you have enough there now." Finally we finished and I tidied away and washed everything up as my niece, Boogy Baby, stood at my side clutching the birthday present I'd bought her. "Aunty Hots can we make my fairy?"

Can I have a shower first? I need to get rid of this paint, glitter and glue.

x

Tutorial

2008-05-18T20:09:00.003Z

Last Tuesday I had a tutorial. My first one in about 4 weeks. I wanted time to go away, do some very solid research and present my "new improved" mobile. It worked.

My tutor and I sat down in the afternoon and talked through my ideas. I explained that I'd taken her advice on board and had gone back to my mind map, selecting words and phrases that I felt interested me. I then thought about qualities I was interested in and how I could achieve them, resulting in my clay leaves. Ta-dah! I'm relieved to report that she and the student teacher who sits at her elbow were suitably impressed and offered some useful ideas about varnishing. It hadn't occurred to me to coat them in anything but when they explained about the lustre of the leaves (and just plain protecting the thing) it made sense. They had suggested rubbing in a bees wax which I have to say was really tempting. However I was too worried that I may damage the leaves as they are so fragile and instead opted for a egg-yolk wash. We also discussed my beading and I defended my use of red, white and grey beads. One of the comments my tutor made of my leaves was how realistic they looked (I blushed). I pointed out that the colours I was using to show chemical structures followed the same accuracy. The colours I'm using are the internationally recognised colours for each chemical element - red = oxygen, grey = carbon, white = hydrogen - and therefore I'm keeping them! She could see my point and agreed but suggested a different way of stringing them.

So, after class on Tuesday I drove back to sunny Buckinghamshire where I work the rest of the week. I did some essential shopping (no food in the flat) and then spent Wednesday and Thursday evening painting and egg-washing my leaves. Once that was done, I tied swivels to them so that the chemical structures can hang off them.

On Friday I decided that I'd done enough so I took myself off to the local Italian for possibly the best meal I've had in ages. I did take my sketchbook with me though and ended up scribbling and tidying up loose ends between courses (and sort of during dessert and coffee). Infact I was so into it, I stopped off at my local on the way home for a pint and did some more. So much for a night off.

I have to have my mobile completed by 10th June with a presentation the following week. And I still have my essay on Antony Gormley to complete by the 2nd with that presentation a couple of weeks later. Then I can enjoy the summer and work on my port folio submission for Uni.

Still I'm not complaining. It's so great to see my idea take shape. Just hope it has a proper shape in 3 weeks.

x

leaf Progress - additional

2008-05-13T06:06:00.003Z

Blogger appears to have corrected itself and I've been able to post pictures of my leaves.

The first three are the painted ones -

The brown thread running almost vertical is deliberate. It's reminiscent of a leaf that's breaking down but the veins are still intact. The white thread you may be able to see is invisible thread and will have beads attached to it later.

This is an air-dry clay leaf. This is the first stage. I tend to draw the veins in so that I know roughly where I want them when I come to paint later.

So that's it really. There will be more pictures as it develops (Blogger willing). Hope you like

Brians or brawn

2008-05-09T07:12:00.002Z

In case you hadn't picked it up from the title, this will be a more philosophical post than the usual vacuous fluff, art project progress or hormone induced rant. It's inspired by a conversation I had recently that has really got me thinking.

Let me explain.

H and I had gone out for a couple of post-work pints and as usual the conversation flowed along in it's usual manner. I happened to comment that I loved H's brain. He become ever so 'umble and muttered something about not being that clever and only having knowledge in the subjects he was interested in. "Well that's the same as anyone. We're all experts in our chosen interests". He wasn't convinced. "Yeah but I'm just ordinary. I'm average looking, I don't earn huge amounts of money. If Johnny Depp was here, or David Tennant it'd be a different story". I had to admit that they would have a novelty value but at the end of the day, I'm far more interested in brains and intelligence rather than pay packet. I still don't think he was convinced.

I'd had a similar conversation with a girlfriend at college. "Brains win out every time for me" she said "Looks fade but the mind can hold your interest forever". A wise woman indeed.

Whilst I quite happily perv over Mr Depp or Mr Tennant (not forgetting Mr Sim, Mr Brigstocke, Mr Bloom .... you see a pattern here don't you), let's be honest. They are still human. And men. They still fart, leave wet towels all over the floor and scratch themselves (although some have the manners to not do it in public). The point is (yes there is one) that whilst we girls like something pretty to look at, I for one would much rather sit with good company and enjoy a little mental workout. What can I say. I love mental stimulation. It' a fine line. I had a boyfriend who thought "challenging me" meant undermining my beliefs and constantly questioning why I did/thought something a particular way. Needless to say I found it utterly draining. What I wanted was well rounded conversation where both sides learnt something.

And this is what I was trying to explain to H. A brain shows a inner beauty that is far more attractive than physical attributes.

It's the soul inside that's important, not the packaging.

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Leaves - a progress report

2008-05-05T12:53:00.002Z

This weekend I've been working on my "Collections" project.

As you may recall, it's based on leaves - both in a structural and chemical way. The original idea was a mobile mapping the movement of a leaf as it falls to the earth. It would be a sculptural piece and would be a series of leaves suspended on invisible thread and connected with wire, tracking the spin and swirl off an individual leaf as it fell. The movements would be based on video footage I'd already taken. The mobile would hang from a branch that I'd found whilst out walking.

I'd discussed the idea with my tutor and she suggested making a maquette over Easter which I did. I have to say it wasn't necessarily my finest work but I had hoped for a slightly more enthusiasm. I admit I didn't take the criticism well but then "boring" is not really constructive in my opinion, however Rose made me see a bit more sense and I went back to thinking. My tutor had expressed disappointment that I hadn't included the chemical structure research I'd done. All molecular composition of chlorophyll and sugars from photosynthesis. I'd considered it but was struggling find a suitable way of using it, reluctant to give up the mobile idea. (I know I'm stubborn). I worked on aspects of leaves I liked and created a big mind map. It was really helpful and enabled me to pick out keywords and aspects. From that I experimented with different materials and moved the concept further.

So now I can present Mobile Mark II. Instead of one mobile, showing the progression of one leaf, this will be made of leaves showing decomposition of a leaf as it falls. I hope you keep up as I explain this -

Imagine a green leaf, connected in a downward spiral of florist's wire to an autumnal leaf, connected to an autumnal leaf that is decomposing into it's chemical structures, connected in the same downward spiral to chemical structures representing chlorophyll, sugars and gasses. The leaves are made of air-dried clay that are painted. The decomposing leaves have invisible thread coming out of them which can be threaded with beads. These beads are the molecules that make up the different components - a bit like those models you used to make in science class with plastic balls and sticks. This individual mobile is repeated and "stops" in different stages all over the branch.

I realise that photos would make this easier to explain but for whatever reason, Blogger didn't seem to want to upload the pics of the leaves that I've made so far. But have patience - they will be posted in due course.

So this weekend I've been mainly working on leaves. They're all over my room at the moment in various stages, either naked, drying clay or drying painted efforts. When I'm not painting or moulding, I'm trying to work out how to thread the beads to make accurate chemical structures. I've even got the "right" coloured beads - grey for Carbon, red for Oxygen and white for Hydrogen. And let's not forget I have an essay to write for Visual Art and prepare a presentation.

And I've been moving closing to sorting out which uni I'll apply to next year, but more of that another time.

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